There is a lot of talk these days about visualizing your dream life and manifesting your goals. But what does this mean?
And what if you’ve already achieved the life you sought?
You have the career, the car, the home, the relationship… What more do you need? Keep reading for the answer to this question.
There is more to life than the evident things. And I learned this the hard way… through experience. So now, maybe I can save you some time on your own journey.
When I was growing up, my Father was absent most of the time. His lack of availability was the impetus for me to seek perfection, so I could receive the attention I desired. I became an overachiever, hoping that achieving success would prove my worthiness to everyone… especially my father. This led me into an extremely unhealthy cycle of burnout because my true desires were clouded by my feelings of “not good enough”.
However, because I was goal-oriented, I made it a practice to visualize myself at the height of success. All my visions did come to fruition. I got the car, the career, the home, and even the relationship (for a time). Yet even though I had acquired the things I’d visualized, there was a void in my life.
I’d been so busy pursuing what I thought I wanted, that it took me almost ten years to become conscious of what was missing. It never occurred to me to visualize a life that included purpose, meaning and joy.
Does this story bring up anything for you? Do you feel that there could be more to life, and that maybe there’s a piece missing for you?
If you’re asking yourself the question ‘what’s missing in my life?’ it might be time to look closer at the power of visualization for greater clarity and to manifest your true desires.
So, let’s start with what visualization means, how it leads to manifestation, and how to use visualization and manifestation for greater clarity and fulfillment.
What is visualization?
Visualization is the practice of creating a mental picture of the things or experiences that you want. This could be anything from a new bike to a new job. The image you create in your mind is the visual representation of the thing you desire.
How visualization leads to manifestation
Our thoughts, like everything, are made up of energy. When you visualize, you are building the energy of that thought. Whatever energetic vibration you put out into the universe will return back to you in kind. Therefore, the energy you’re generating in your mind is being sent out into the universe and manifesting what you want. This is the universal law of attraction. By understanding how this law works you can harness the incredible power of your own mental energy to manifest what you desire in your life.
How to use visualization and manifestation for greater clarity and fulfillment
Visualization can be such a powerful tool. It can help you harness your subconscious mind to tap into your greatest desires. Many of us, including myself, have experienced just how powerful it can be. When focusing on visualizing, you will receive a more clear picture for the things you really desire — deeper than material things.
Things such as:
- Finding your purpose or meaning in life
- Increased happiness and joy
- More abundance
Visualization can improve clarity on life’s essentials; purpose, meaning, and joy. Rather than purely the evident things in life; careers, lifestyle, and material things. And this could mean a big change in how you experience your life!
As I mentioned in my own personal experience earlier, sometimes visualization and manifestation can come from an unconscious place. We set goals that are not aligned with our true desires to please others, or to gain unhealthy ambition towards goals that don’t align with what we really crave.
For this reason, generating a clear vision is a powerful skill you’ll want to master.
Here’s how to create a clear vision:
Get yourself situated in a location that allows you to feel safe and comfortable.
- Close your eyes
- Ignore any outside distractions
- Focus on your breath
- Pay attention to the thoughts that are passing through your mind
- Pay attention to any feelings or emotions that come up
Once your mind and body are at ease and focused on your inner thoughts and emotions it will be easier to focus all your energy on the thoughts you’d like to visualize.
> Be open
Visualization requires flexibility so you’re able to encompass all possibilities. Allow yourself to openly acknowledge what you crave most in life. How can you adapt your lifestyle to obtain these desires? Maybe it won’t be a tangible goal, but you must be open to the possibilities in order to receive the outcome you want.
> Create a mental picture
Create a mental picture of the life you want, and be specific about how you’re feeling in that vision. Imagine what you’re doing, what you’re wearing, and who you’re with. Yet most importantly, how do you feel at that moment? Do you feel loved? Or accomplished? What feeling do you have when you are in this life you’re envisioning?
Spend 5-10 minutes a day creating and fully experiencing this mental picture. Truly embody the mental picture as if you are already there and you are already experiencing that moment. Watch the embodiment of this mental picture become more clear as time goes on.
> Write it down
Writing down what you’re visualizing, and your thoughts around it, can help create more clarity about what you want. This process can provoke more feelings that you may not have noticed initially. It also makes the step by step process more clear. Writing and journaling can be important when it comes to visualization.
> Take note of what got you to this point
Yes, it is important to think of the end goal yet don’t forget about your past successes. Reflect on the steps you’ve taken so far to get to where you are today. How have they helped bring you here?
What is the next small step you could take to bring you closer to achieving your new vision? It may not be something you want to do at this moment yet think about how it will benefit you in the bigger picture. What can you do today that will build your tomorrow?
Apply these visualization tips for clarity
These tips can help you create a clear picture of the life you want. Take your time when applying these new skills. Breathe. And feel into all the emotions that come up when connecting with your vision. Making visualization a regular practice will bring greater clarity and connect you with what you really want in life. When you apply these tips to your visualization/manifestation practice, along with taking the actions set forth to achieve your visions, you can manifest a life filled with your greatest desires.
For an even deeper understanding of visualization, click here to claim your FREE Visualization Guide: 8 Steps to Realizing the Life You Desire
This guide will:
- Assist you to clarify your true desires
- Inspire and motivate you to accomplish your greatest aspirations
- Teach you how to create the reality you crave
- Help you achieve your wildest dreams
- Enable you to manifest the changes you want in your life
Happy visualizing and manifesting! I hope your deepest desires are found through the clarity you receive from visualization.
Do you ever find yourself asking…
What’s the big deal about mental clarity?
Why would I even want to look for it?
I used to wonder about this myself. Then I looked at all the amazing benefits that come with mental clarity. For example:
- Decreased mental chatter
- Increased focus and direction
- Greater organization
- Ease in decision-making
- Increased ability to prioritize
- More energy
Yes, I did say that mental clarity gives you more energy!
How does it do that?
It allows you to become more aware of:
- Who you are.
- Why you are here.
- Who you are serving.
- What you need to be doing.
What does all this mean for you?
Once you learn how to gain and maintain mental clarity, navigating life becomes easier. Because as you are aware of who you are, why you’re here, and who you choose to serve, you will know what you need to be doing. And although you still need to take action, having clarity allows you to move forward with greater ease. Things just begin to flow into place.
How to gain and maintain greater mental clarity
Mental clarity can be found through various modalities and daily practices. Today, we’ll address the practice of meditation. Meditation can be described simply as, ‘the act of breathing and observing.’
You may already know that a regular daily meditation practice has many benefits:
- Easing your busy mental chatter
- Decreasing stress
- Gaining self-awareness
- Reducing negative emotions
- Finding new perspectives
Yet, you’re probably also thinking that regardless of its benefits, meditation still takes time. And if you’re looking for greater mental clarity but don’t have time for a regular daily meditation practice, you’re not alone.Today’s woman is already juggling multiple pursuits. So, with your full plate and busy schedule, devoting time to meditation may not seem practical.
As a busy high-achiever, I completely understand that adding yet another thing to your day – even if it does ease mental chatter and create greater clarity – could feel like an inconvenience or stressor. I can also honestly say that I used to struggle with finding the time for a regular daily meditation practice. Then I learned that I could receive all the same benefits from a brief meditation break as well.
How to find mental clarity without a daily meditation practice
It may surprise you when I say that meditation can be more subtle than you think. You don’t need to have a regular daily meditation practice to boost your mindfulness and mental clarity. There are ways to access clarity and self-awareness and receive the benefits of a regular meditation practice in just a few minutes or less with a simple, mini-meditation.
First, I will share how to overcome the major obstacle keeping you from finding greater mental clarity through meditation. Then we’ll look at how you can deepen the practice to receive the most benefits.
Afterward, I will give tips that helped me adopt the art of mini-meditation and provide you with a free gift to remind you of these simple yet effective practices.
Finding the time to achieve greater clarity
The major obstacle to choosing what to do during our day is a perceived lack of time. With work, appointments, and commitments, even just a few minutes may seem impossible to find within your busy schedule. Here are some ideas for how you can claim the lost moments throughout your hectic day:
1. During your commute
Look forward to red lights and traffic jams, as they can be a reminder to breathe. If your commute consists of buses, trains, or subways, consider yourself lucky to have the opportunity to use these moments to focus on your breath.
2. Between bites
You’re already eating lunch, take the time to breathe in between bites.
3. Use commercial breaks
While you relax and watch your evening program, use the commercial breaks as a time to meditate.
4. While waiting
When you find yourself waiting in line for the bank, the grocery store, the doctor’s office, or anywhere else, use that time to meditate.
5. In between tasks
When you finish a meeting, appointment, or an item from your to-do list, take a moment to breathe and find clarity before starting something new.
Now that you’ve found a few moments of time, you can make the most of those brief moments and enjoy your mini-meditation.
How to make the most of your mini-meditation
1. Focus on your breath
Take a deep breath in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Pay attention to the inhale and exhale. What can you smell as you take in the breath? Cooking aromas? Nature? Tune into where the breath is residing in your body.
2. Scan your body
What can you feel? What is your body touching? Search for tension within your body. If possible, give yourself a light massage to any areas with tension.
3. Observe your thoughts
Notice the thoughts that are passing through your mind. Try not to label anything good or bad, right or wrong. Reserve your judgment and just notice.
4. Embrace your feelings
Acknowledge how you feel right now. Remind yourself that these feelings are only temporary, part of the present moment.
5. Hold a touchstone
Many religions use beads to count prayers. This might help you with focus as well. If you wear a bracelet, have pocket change, or a charm, try holding the item in the palm of your hand. It will trigger your mind to come back to the present. This is called a touchstone.
Apply this mini-meditation to your daily routine
If you’re looking to increase mental clarity and mindfulness through meditation but don’t have the time to devote to regular daily practice, I hope these suggestions help you find more peace throughout your day and bring you closer to the mental clarity you desire.
You don’t need to master a daily meditation practice to be a master of your own self-awareness and clarity. Simply consider taking a few moments for yourself in between your commitments.
For more tips on how to increase mental clarity and self-awareness, click here and claim your FREE Tip Sheet: Practical Advice for Greater Clarity & Presence.
Use this gift and:
- Alleviate chronic stress and negative emotions.
- Receive simple daily habits for greater clarity.
- Access useful self-awareness tools.
- Discover easy techniques for mini-meditation.
- Experience greater mindfulness.
Comment below with your favorite way to find clarity through mini-meditation.
Maybe you’ve been living the American dream. You have an attentive spouse, a nice house and car, two kids, a membership at the country club, and yet you’re strangely dissatisfied.
The American dream looks great from the outside, and yet what if you don’t have the time or the energy to enjoy it?
That’s what happened to me. I was living my version of the American dream. I was successful, I created results, I’d accumulated a lot, I loved the thrill of the challenge… and I was wired to do whatever it takes. I had a PhD in all that. And I still do.
However, over time, the methodology that I had used for success began to break down and fall apart. It started to impact my emotional and physical health until I reached a point of diminishing returns, in my satisfaction and my inner fulfillment. The effort required to continue getting the same level of results had increased, and I had to make choices about what I really wanted.
I no longer had the energy to do it all.
If you’re one of those women who has that ‘I’ll do whatever it takes’ attitude, you may be using the approach that I used to create your success. And, you may be:
- Noticing that it’s just getting harder to create the same results, so it’s taking more and more of a toll on you. Or
- Close to burning out and you don’t even know it. Or
- Burned out, and now as you recuperate, you’re realizing that life has to have more meaning to it… that it can no longer be substantially about creating results.
If you’re in any of those three places that I just described, then – most likely – you’ll want to know the first step I took in order to find more meaning and fulfillment in my life. This initial step led me to design and implement a new life methodology, which allowed me to heal and still create the level of results I desire without giving up my identity.
Click the image to get your free gift!
Now, it’s likely that you’ve never given the idea of a life methodology much thought. It’s not as if it gets mentioned in school, and your parents probably never broached the subject. Yet, my methodology has afforded me the opportunity to experience greater purpose, fulfillment, and physical well-being. And it all started with that very first step, which I will now share with you…
Unfortunately, self-reflection seems to be a dying art. People either feel they don’t have the time or that it’s a waste of time. Others are afraid to take a good, long, hard look at themselves and their past actions. Yet, as I shared above, there’s so much to be gained by examining yourself and your past. Here’s how…
Mastering self-reflection to achieve greater fulfillment and success:
While this is a personal journey, that doesn’t mean it has to be solitary. Rather than starting completely from scratch, take a look at the people you know who have the kind of life that you admire most. Ask how they approach life. You might find something that resonates with you.
2. Ask yourself how you got to this point
You already have a set of beliefs regarding what is valuable in life. Who taught those beliefs to you? Did you pick them up from your parents? Friends? Movies? Teachers? Books? How was your current approach to life established?
3. Determine what you want your life to be about
Will your life be about money and success? Altruism? Adventure? Family? Personal development? What matters to you?
What do you think is most important? Can you be happy with that decision? For example, you might believe that family should be the most important thing. Yet, who do you consider family? What’s your definition of family?
Many philosophers argue that there is no inherent meaning to life, which is just a fancy way of saying that you can choose the meaning of life for yourself and be just as correct as anyone else.
4. Start at the end
Imagine that you’ve lived a long life and you’re reaching the end. What kind of life do you want to look back on? What sorts of things do you want to have learned, achieved, and experienced? How do you want to be remembered? With the end in mind, how do you need to live today to reach that ideal ending?
5. Bounce your ideas off others
Find like-minded people and discuss your thoughts. When you’re open and share your ideas, you might gain an insight that makes all the difference. Feel free to tweak and experiment with what you find.
6. Give it a try
Once you’ve found a way of looking at the world that appeals to you, take it for a test-ride. See if it suits you. Have patience while you’re on this journey. It may take time to become completely satisfied with your new viewpoint.
Self-Reflection allows you to notice the detrimental patterns in your life. This is a tremendous power, because you can use this knowledge to design a more effective path through life.
When you learn about yourself, you become a more powerful version of yourself. Through self-reflection, you can redefine your life, choosing for yourself what is most important. Then, rather than pursuing the standard path to success, you create your own.
Since you’re going to work diligently at whatever approach you take to be successful, it only makes sense to spend that time and effort to create what’s most meaningful to you. So, sit down each day or once a week and apply some self-reflection. Consider all the different areas of your life: relationships, finances, work, health, and so on. I believe you’ll be happy with the results.
When you use reflective thinking, you enhance your life. So, just imagine being more enlivened when you get out of bed each morning.
To find greater meaning and purpose into your life, click here and claim your FREE gift, Success Without Sacrifice: Your Guide to Living A More Fulfilled Life.
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This gift will:
- Allow you to use the tool of self-reflection to your best advantage.
- Provide additional direction for your journey to a more fulfilled life.
- Invite you to continue to explore what is most important to you.
- Give you the opportunity to find a more effective path to success.
Click here now to claim your free gift: Success Without Sacrifice: Your Guide to Living A More Fulfilled Life.
There’s a time for work, a time for play, and a time for contemplation. Contemplation is defined as deep reflective thought or the action of looking thoughtfully at something for a long time.
Unlike the practices of mindfulness or meditation, you don’t lose yourself in the experience. When you engage in contemplation, you are thinking about an experience in words or thoughts. Contemplation is an exercise of reflection on, rather than presence with, or absorption in, an experience.
The primary advantage humans have over animals is our ability to contemplate. In doing so, we learn about ourselves, our lives, and our situation.
According to Psychology Today, “From the Greek philosopher Plato to the Buddha to modern psychology forefathers William James and Wilhelm Wundt, the value of contemplation as a means of fostering well-being and wisdom has been known for a long time.”
I only wish somebody had told me. As a Type-A overachiever, there was a time when I had no awareness that there were benefits to pausing and contemplating — on myself, my life, or my business. I believed that if I wasn’t moving forward, I was “wasting” time. I now know better, and I’d like to share what I have learned with you.
The 3 main benefits that are realized from contemplation
1.You learn about yourself
Most people are shockingly low in self-awareness – like I was. Some believe they are too busy, while others prefer to distract themselves rather than invest time in contemplation.
There’s much to be learned by taking a few minutes daily to reflect on your day and the choices you made. It can help you to face your fears or redefine your life. When you know yourself, you can make better plans that utilize your strengths, avoid your weaknesses, and enhance your life.
2. You learn from your past
If you look at the biggest mistakes you’ve made in your life, you’ll find they’re surprisingly similar. Contemplation allows you to notice the negative patterns in your life. You may have spent money you couldn’t afford, become involved with someone you shouldn’t, or made poor decisions to get away from stressful situations.
If you’ve never taken the time to review these mistakes, you’ve probably repeated them. Reflecting on the past helps you identify what works and use it to your advantage.
3. You take intelligent and thoughtful action
When you’re action-oriented, you may believe – like I did – that contemplation is a “waste” of time. Yet before jumping in with both feet, it can be incredibly helpful to spend some time thinking and strategizing. Reflect on what you actually want to accomplish for yourself.
And even if you have an idea where you want to go, you may want to consider regular reflection to ensure that you remain on the path toward success. When you’re on the right path, you’ll find greater peace and joy in your life.
An essential tool for change
Contemplation can be incredibly rewarding, because you can use your experiences and knowledge to discover a more effective path through life. You can learn about yourself, solve challenges, and become a more powerful version of yourself.
Contemplation can be a potent tool for change. You can choose to get different results in your life. All it takes is a little directed thinking each day to clear your mind, relax, and find that peace and joy you crave.
10 Strategies for applying the power of contemplation in your life
1.Make contemplation a priority
If you’re anything like me, you’re a busy person. You won’t spend time contemplating on a regular basis unless you make it a priority. So, decide that you’re going to spend some time each day reflecting. You can learn a lot if you take the time to examine your life on a regular basis.
2. Plan the time and purpose
You most likely have a specific time for meals, going to bed, or watching TV. So, it’s important to choose a specific time for contemplation, too. Because, if you don’t plan contemplation into your day, it probably won’t happen.
Also, before you begin, plan how you’re going to use your reflection time. Otherwise, you may find yourself staring out the window and daydreaming.
3. Examine your day
Ask yourself: What went well today? What brought me joy? What am I grateful for? What didn’t go according to plan and how can I receive it as a gift? What did I learn today? How do I want to move forward based on what I learned today? What specific actions do I want to take? What will bring me greater joy?
4. Examine your challenges
Ask yourself: What are the challenges in my life? Do I view them as problems or opportunities? How can I shift my mindset so I see problems as opportunities instead? What led me to this point? How are these challenges impacting my life?
5. Reflect on how to move forward
Ask yourself: What are some possible action steps I can take to address the challenges in my life? What can I do right now? How can I move forward with a joyful outlook? Rather than distract yourself from your challenges, see them as opportunities you can choose to engage with more joyfully.
6. Search for answers
Maybe you’re not sure why you’re so insecure in your romantic relationships. Perhaps you have unresolved issues from your childhood. Why do you spend too much money? This can be a great use of your contemplation time. When you focus your attention on a specific question, you’re more likely to find the answer you need.
7. Use affirmations
Write a list of affirmations that embrace what you want to achieve and what you want to become in your life.
Write them in present tense, because It is important to focus on the things that are occurring now that will lead to your future success. And be sure to use the word “I” throughout the list. For example, “I am always good at my job.”
You may hear words in your head such as, “But you messed this up the other day” or “You weren’t as productive a few days ago.” If you are hearing things like this, then banish those negative thoughts. It can take some time to get used to positive thinking, but it’ll be time well-spent.
Repeating your affirmations aloud will enable you to reprogram your mind with positive thoughts.
Take a few minutes and catch your breath. If you have a busy life, it’s important to rest your body and mind each day. A little time alone can be better than a therapist.
9. Write and reflect
Purchase a journal and write in that journal every single day. Each day, first write down something positive that occurred that day. Next, write down a question for yourself. Don’t answer that question then and there. Reflect on that question and write your answer the next day as a part of your journal entry.
10. Visualize creatively
This is a fun way to self-reflect! Make yourself a box to show your hopes and dreams. Or you can create a vision board. Place pictures and words that represent you and your thoughts into your box or on your board. The more details you include, the better it works! Imagination is the key… and the sky’s the limit!
Your guide to the past and present
Life isn’t only about going to work, watching TV, spending time with family, and chasing your goals. When you practice reflection and introspection you can live a more peaceful life and continue to grow each day. Even just 15 minutes a day can make a big difference.
Use your contemplation time however you like. You might reflect on your childhood or the meaning of life, review the last year, plan the future, or consider your spirituality. You could even practice your ability to focus. It’s your time to use as you like.
Contemplation is a useful tool that’s free to learn and apply. Imagine being able to leverage your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, and avoid repeating your mistakes. A session of reflection each day will help you become the best version of yourself. And over time, contemplation can enable you to achieve the peace and joy you deserve.
And for additional ways to increase your joy, click here and claim your FREE gift, Happiness 101: A Modern Guide to a More Joyful Life.
This gift will:
- Allow you to use the tool of contemplation to your best advantage.
- Provide additional direction in your journey to a more joyful life.
- Invite you to explore the things that give you joy.
- Give you the opportunity to experience joy with greater ease.
Click here now to claim your free gift: Happiness 101: A Modern Guide to a More Joyful Life
Do you ever feel like you aren’t good enough?
Are you driven to achieve in order to prove that you’re enough?
The difference between healthy and low self-esteem
The word “esteem” means to regard favorably. Self-esteem is how you regard yourself. It’s your sense of self, how you rate yourself as a human being, how worthy you feel you are. Self-esteem refers to your acceptance of yourself and the value you place on yourself.
Healthy self-esteem exists when you possess a positive and realistic sense of who you are, understand your strengths, and like yourself despite your weaknesses.
On the other hand, when you have low self-esteem you are critical of yourself, focus on your negatives, and ignore your achievements. If this describes you, you’re not alone. Low self-esteem is a common challenge – regardless of age, background, or socioeconomic status.
Tracing low self-esteem to your childhood
Low self-esteem can often be traced back to childhood. It can be common if you come from a background where you were told you weren’t good enough, were made to feel unlovable, or suffered through a traumatic event.
If you experienced any of these things growing up, it’s possible that your desire for success is driven by low self-esteem. And you might not be aware of this or willing to admit it out loud, because the outside world views you as a confident and successful woman. This could make you uncomfortable admitting that you have fears or inner doubts.
When you stop long enough to be vulnerable and acknowledge what’s true, you may see that no matter how much you succeed, it’s never enough. You’re continuously striving for the next goal. And you may begin to realize that one of the reasons you are doing this is to prove something to the outer world.
If you’re wondering how I know this…
I’ve lived it. For my first 27 years, from the time I was born until a couple of years before he died, my father showed no interest in me. So, I was driven to achieve in my efforts to prove that I was good enough, lovable enough, and worthy enough for my father’s attention. And no matter what goal I accomplished, it wasn’t enough.
Of course, this made me highly successful in life. It also led me to experience burnout. And it taught me that childhood experiences can influence your level of self-esteem.
However, it’s not unusual to develop self-esteem issues in adulthood too. Any time you go through a difficult situation, it can affect the way you see yourself. For example, if you lose your job, go through a divorce or file bankruptcy, you may internalize this experience and believe it’s your fault… that you caused this bad thing to occur.
Yet regardless of whether your experience of low self-esteem stems from childhood or adulthood, I’ve learned that there’s a lot you can do as an adult to boost your confidence.
Below are twelve ideas that you can apply to your own circumstances to overcome low self-esteem. Use what resonates with you.
Build your self-esteem by embracing these tips
1. Set boundaries
Let others know how you wish to be treated. Remove yourself from relationships and situations that cause unnecessary stress and interfere with your well-being. Instead, develop stable and mutually supportive relationships. Surround yourself with positive people, including family and friends who are encouraging and appreciate you for who you are.
2. Learn to accept compliments
If you’re fortunate enough to have positive influences in your life, listen to them when they say you’ve done a good job. If you were undeserving of the praise, you wouldn’t be getting it. So, resist the urge to dismiss compliments. Instead, smile and say, “Thank you.” Accepting compliments will help you discover what you’re good at and strengthen your self-confidence.
3. Advocate for yourself
Ask for help when you need it. Be willing to say “No.” It’s natural to feel bad about yourself when you agree to do things you don’t want to do, because you’re disrespecting yourself. So refuse requests when you genuinely don’t want to do them. Give yourself the respect and compassion you deserve.
4. Prioritize yourself
Make your mental and physical health a top priority. Eat nutritious foods, exercise regularly, and sleep well. Treat your time like a precious resource. Plan your days and block time for the activities you love. Investing in yourself helps you to stay strong and maximize your potential.
5. Embrace your individuality
You’re much more interesting than the person you pretend to be. We develop the urge to conform in elementary school. But you’re not like everyone else. You’re unique. You’ll make more friends and have more influence if you respect your unique gifts and are willing to be yourself. Authenticity is the basis of true confidence.
6. Avoid “shoulding” on yourself
If you’re constantly telling yourself, “I should have done this” or “I should have said that”, you’re focusing on things that have already happened and you’re unable to change. Remember that self-esteem is a symptom of detrimental thinking habits. Anything said or done in the past is over. You only keep those things alive with your thoughts. Instead, plan for the future. Uplift your thinking and your self-esteem will rise as well.
7. Set reasonable expectations
Accept that human beings make mistakes. If you’re unwilling to accept anything less than perfection from yourself, you’ll feel discouraged when you inevitably make a mistake. Don’t let mistakes get you down. Remember that every mistake you make is a chance to learn and grow.
8. Recognize and celebrate your accomplishments
If your self-esteem is lacking, you might spend a lot of time focusing on the negative. Instead, acknowledge your accomplishments and allow yourself to be happy. It’s okay to be proud of yourself.
9. Make a list of all your best qualities
When you have low self-esteem, you focus on the things you dislike about yourself. Instead, write down your strengths, skills, talents, and positive personality traits. Taking some time to focus on your good qualities can have a very positive effect.
10. Avoid comparing yourself to others
It can be easy to get into a habit of comparing yourself negatively to other people. Instead, remember that you are unique. And know that your self-esteem comes from within. So, you can choose how you see yourself. Choose to see an attractive, thoughtful, intelligent, and caring person.
11. Use affirmations
Affirmations are great self-esteem boosters. They show your brain what you already know you can achieve. Read affirmations on subjects of your choice or write your own. Affirmations bring positive energy into the present moment.
12. Get a life coach or a spiritual counselor
These are professionals who empower you to deepen your relationship with yourself. They partner with you to create strategies that target your unique skills and gifts. They’re like a supportive friend, only better! Because they are experts, guiding you to enhance every aspect of your life on your journey toward success, so you can maximize your full potential, reach your desired results, and attain greater fulfillment. In this day and age, it is extremely common for any successful individual to have a coach or counselor guiding them, so there’s no need to be embarrassed about seeking one out.
Embrace, honor, and love yourself to healthy self-esteem
As I’ve already mentioned, there are many factors which can cause or contribute to low self-esteem. The key to overcoming your low self-esteem is to believe in your abilities and recognize the areas where you excel, so you can start feeling good about yourself again. The above tips will help you to achieve this.
As you build your self-esteem, you’ll make sound decisions and fulfill your goals with even greater ease. You’ll know with certainty that you are lovable, capable, and worthy of dignity and respect. And you will begin to love and accept yourself for who you are.
You will understand that self-care is a vital part of loving yourself, because you deserve to feel good about yourself. And as I mentioned earlier, investing in yourself helps you to stay strong and maximize your potential.
For ways to prioritize yourself with self-care, click here to claim your FREE gift, 23 of My Favorite Self-Care Activities That Take Less Than 15 Minutes. I hope this list supports you to honor yourself and block time each day to enjoy an activity you love.
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I hope you took some time over the last two weeks to think about a relationship in your life that has been suffering; that you’ve reflected on your memories of time spent with that person.
If you recall, I encouraged you to remove all judgment and consider only the positives that this connection brought to your life.
You may have completed my Let Go of What’s Holding You Back checklist and worksheet to help you decide whether to let go with grace or take steps to restore that relationship.
If you’ve chosen to restore a relationship to a place of importance in your life and you’ve set new boundaries, it’s time to talk about how to embrace the path forward.
We’ll frame that path in the context of forgiveness, acceptance, and enjoyment.
For many of us, all the strain and added stress from the pandemic and a contentious election year transferred over to our relationships. The loss of face-to-face interaction during stay-at-home measures meant communication had to happen in new and challenging ways, like video, text, email, etc. Our messages and meaning may have gotten lost in translation. We may have felt misunderstood or unheard, and the other person may have felt that way too. And when frustrations boiled over, grace was not always extended.
All of this is understandable. The absence of social interaction has deeply affected relationships. To be able to embrace the path forward, we must first extend forgiveness for all missteps made during this time — to yourself and to the other person.
If we hope to restore a relationship, acceptance must follow forgiveness. You or the other person may have acted in ways that have created feelings of guilt or shame. Practicing self-love can be a powerful first step to overcome these feelings and move towards acceptance of yourself and the other person.
Moving forward, life will return to a version of normalcy. But it is helpful to acknowledge that things may never be the same for this relationship. In some cases, scars from past hurts will remain, but there may also be opportunities for deeper and more meaningful connections.
We must acknowledge the collective loss of connection we have all experienced. We’ve lost precious time together, whether it be family celebrations, life milestones, or normal social activities. The enjoyment we derive from these moments of connection cannot be underestimated. They are crucial to our overall quality of life.
Focusing on enjoying life is a great first step not only to reconnect with this person but to restore some sense of normalcy to your own life. Think about what it was you missed about the other person and relationship. What drew you to each other in the first place? What did you enjoy doing together? Maybe it was that weekly cup of coffee, a chat at the mailbox, or a morning dog walk together. Now is the time to rekindle those simple moments of enjoyment.
Embracing the Path Forward Through Human Connection
In time, we’ll resume some semblance of our past routines and day-to-day life.
Whatever that looks like, we will always have an innate human need for connection. And relationships are essential for our overall wellness.
Your social connections will come from existing relationships and any new ones you choose to cultivate. As for this particular relationship — it has suffered so it is fragile. Restoring it may not be easy, but it is possible when you practice forgiveness, acceptance, and enjoyment.
Before you get started, check in with yourself and your feelings. What is your general attitude as you consider restoration? Then click here to claim your FREE gift, A Checklist For Keeping a Positive Attitude, to help you maintain an optimistic mindset along the way.
Make an effort to stay open to the new things you might discover about yourself and the other person along the way. I wish you luck in your relationship repair.
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