Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
“Love and Compassion are the true religions to me. But to develop this, we do not need to believe in any religion.” ~ The Dalai Lama
Each day you are blessed with opportunities for choice. From the food you eat, to the way you move, to the thoughts you think, every second of the day presents you with another opportunity for choice.
In the past, when faced with choice, my actions were driven by the desire to achieve. My choice to persevere, no matter what, overruled my health and relationship needs, and reflected my perfectionistic tendencies to the detriment of all else in my life.
It took me too long to recognize that something was amiss and to choose to design a different methodology for my journey. You may be able to relate to my story, even finding yourself in a similar position, looking to discover your own spiritual path to your higher purpose.
A spiritual journey can be uncomfortable— especially for a type-A personality. As you embark on this path, you may feel some loneliness if you don’t have a like-minded community to share your experiences with, or some anxiety about letting go of the security of a controlled hold over your life.
However, during the ebbs and flows of this journey, there is a choice that can remain constant. This choice not only improves your wellbeing, it eases you toward your higher purpose. The choice is love and compassion.
Love and compassion are the most powerful forces on earth. Acts of care and consideration towards another being can be shown through even the smallest gestures, such as a smile or a helping hand. Love and compassion can heal, nurture, uplift, and transform a life.
When you choose love and compassion, not only does it nourish the souls of others, it enhances your own spiritual well-being, boosting your fulfillment and connecting you with your divine Self.
Your previous choices to achieve success may have come with sacrifice to your wellbeing and to relationships with those you love. The ongoing drive of an overachiever can generate a sense of dissatisfaction. Choosing love and compassion fulfills a need to be more altruistic and elevates your spiritual path.
Start with yourself
Nourish your body and soul with loving self-care. This could include pampering, time off, exercise, meditation, or positive self-talk to uplift you when you’re down. Anything that nurtures you is considered self-care and is an act of compassion toward yourself.
Don’t be embarrassed to do something bold if that’s what you want to do. And don’t feel obligated to say yes to things you don’t want to do. Be honest about what you really want. Though it may seem loving to do favors for a friend, if it creates conflict with your authentic Self, you may cause harm to both your Self and your relationships. Do what feels most aligned for you.
When you wake up each day, be grateful to have a new day to practice being in alignment with your authentic Self. Appreciation for each moment is the most loving and compassionate way to acknowledge your own being.
Share with others
Share an ear of compassion and empathy. Hear what others have to say with patience and understanding. Don’t feel that you have to provide advice unless it’s requested. Sometimes the most loving thing you can offer someone is simply to listen and hear what they have to say at that moment.
Share your knowledge with others. If you see someone struggling and you have the opportunity, take a moment to lovingly show them how it’s done.
Acknowledge what others have to offer. They might not have the same qualities as you, which is what makes them unique. Appreciate them for being different.
Every day you are blessed with opportunities of choice. Let love and compassion be the guides behind the choices you make. Through acts of love and compassion, your self-discovery can be enhanced and your spiritual journey can be elevated.
Do you relate to being driven towards achieving success no matter the sacrifice to your health, wellbeing, relationships and more?
Are you interested in decreasing the amount of effort you expend, increasing the success you experience, and doing all this with ease and flow?
If so, join me on Wednesday, June 8 for my complimentary new one-time only online class, “The Three Step Formula That Revolutionizes Your Path Of Success, Activates Your Purpose, And Accelerates Your Results With The Greatest Amount Of Ease And Flow!”
More details coming soon! Save the Date – Wednesday, June 8, 2022.
Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
When you are faced with a decision, there are two basic options: the choice for growth, which moves you forward, or the choice for comfort, which keeps you contained.
The comfortable choice gives you a sense of safety. It’s familiar. And, since you are already there, you know the end result.
This brilliant quotation is commonly misattributed to Albert Einstein, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
Regardless of who said it, the point of this statement is this: Until you choose to do something different, the end result will remain the same. You don’t grow in status quo.
The choice for growth activates your adrenaline. It’s unfamiliar. Each time you choose to act in a way that moves you forward, the outcome tends to be unknown.
So… which option do you choose?
Though the safety of the comfortable choice can be appealing, it can also leave you feeling stagnant.
When you choose to do something different, you invite in new opportunities and enhance your personal growth. And, it can be uncomfortable.
Just the thought of change can cause a shift in your cortisol levels, potentially creating discomfort or fear about what may come next. This can hold you back from taking action, if you let it. However, moving through these emotions can actually benefit your growth.
As you begin to identify these feelings of discomfort or fear as indicators of personal growth, you learn that this is a normal aspect of choosing to leave the status quo behind. You have the ability to shift from fearing uncertainty to being excited and empowered by the unknown.
Taking steps toward your higher vision leads you to new life experiences. Transforming fear into excitement allows you to lean into new levels of personal growth and guides you on your evolutionary journey to your higher purpose.
5 ways to kick the status quo to the curb
Is your daily routine set in stone? Challenge yourself to do things differently. Make a list detailing your average day and notice if you could ignite a spark by adding something new or replacing something that’s become tiresome. A slight shift in your routine might provide the foundation for a new endeavor.
Build your self-confidence and resilience. A new skill is not merely another asset, it can open you up to other avenues for expansion in your professional and personal life. Register for a class or try something new, even if you’re hesitant. Remember that there’s no downside to learning.
Your world has mostly likely shrunk as a result of Covid-19. It was safer to stay home, so containment became the new normal. This made it challenging to grow in many ways. With the world opening up once again, make an effort to give an extra 20 minutes to your daily walk, take a weekend trip to someplace new, or invite your neighbor to lunch. New places, new people, and new choices are great ways to welcome a more expanded world.
Choose to express yourself on other levels. A creative endeavor is not only fun, it usually involves venturing into the unknown. Whether it’s painting a wall red, joining a salsa class, or cooking a new dish, a creative pursuit can be great fun and also open up doors to new opportunities for personal growth.
Be genuine in how you communicate; whether expressing your emotions by writing in your journal or having a difficult, yet sincere conversation with someone. Being true to your Self can be uncomfortable, yet it evokes growth within you and your relationships.
Yes, making a choice for change may elicit feelings of discomfort or fear. At these times, invite your courage to guide you forward so you may accelerate your evolution.
Click here to claim your free ‘Evolve With Intention Guide’ and receive suggestions for how to choose personal growth and align with a higher version of yourself.
This guide will help you
- Invite clarity
- Create intentions
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Leave the status quo in the dust. The choice for personal growth will lead you on the path to the highest version of your Self.
High-achievers are driven to say “yes.”
Yes, to show up.
Yes, to help a friend.
Yes, to take on more.
I used to believe that if I didn’t say yes, I was inadequate, letting someone down, or not capable of doing it all. I thought that the word “no” could negatively impact my success or how people perceived me.
Yet, over time, I learned it can do just the opposite. It helped me choose and achieve my most important priorities without impacting my personal wellbeing. Because when I say no, I’m saying yes to myself and greater self-love.
The practice of saying no is about setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries are parameters that help protect your energy. They are a way to communicate your desires and show others how you should be treated. They keep you from overextending yourself with commitments, which could otherwise lead to burnout or feelings of resentment.
Saying yes on autopilot can start to affect your well-being. Yet setting healthy boundaries doesn’t mean saying no mindlessly. Boundaries establish a healthy balance that respects others while caring for yourself.
Learning to set firm boundaries and say no is an act of self-love and love for others. Take a moment to reflect on the times when you may have felt anger or resentment towards yourself or others. Perhaps you became fatigued from taking on too much or felt taken advantage of by someone else.
If any of this resonates with you, it might be time to reevaluate your boundaries and embrace self-love.
Why say NO
Enrich your relationships
Setting healthy boundaries creates transparency, which can be a strong foundation for trust in relationships. When you set limits on your time and energy, your loved ones will have a deeper understanding of your needs and desires. If someone refuses to respect the boundaries you set, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship.
Spreading yourself too thin won’t help you accomplish more. Saying no helps you stay focused on your primary vision. You’ll be more effective with your time and energy when you don’t try to manage it all.
Experience greater joy and wellbeing
Saying no to others means saying yes to yourself. Saying yes to yourself means more time to enjoy the things you love without feelings of stress or fatigue. As much as you may want to please others, make yourself a priority by choosing your own wellbeing.
If you’re a YES person, setting up healthy boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first. You might feel guilt or stress when saying no to a friend or client. It might feel unnatural to go against your urge to please others. Yet, wouldn’t you rather honor your feelings and say no, than feel resentment because you said yes when you wanted to say no.
When to say NO
1. Your plate is already full
If you find yourself feeling stressed and too busy to fit in yet another request for your time, no could be your best option. Compromising your own wellbeing isn’t good for anyone involved.
2. You feel internal resistance
Having extra time to spare isn’t a good reason to say yes. When you feel resistant to a request for your time, trust your instincts.
3. There’s no time for those you love
As a high-achiever you may tend to get caught up in all that you’re doing. Yet setting aside time for yourself and those you love is an excellent reason to say no. Prioritize your time with loved ones and do what you truly desire.
Saying NO empowers you to take charge of your well-being and renew self-love. When you set and enforce healthy boundaries, you avoid feelings of resentment, stress, and overwhelm. If not being able to say NO has you feeling exhausted, depleted and on the brink of burnout, you are not alone.
Several years ago, I suffered from extreme exhaustion that led to burnout. I have since learned what it takes to be engaged, inspired and passionate about my life (again). This is why I created my upcoming 5-Day Challenge, From Exhausted To Exhilarated: The Top Five Secrets To Increase Your Energy Now.
This 5-day challenge is for you if…
- You live in an almost constant state of exhaustion, sleepwalking through life.
- You’re forgetful and have a hard time focusing.
- You have difficulty sleeping. (No wonder you’re so tired all the time!)
- You’re frustrated and irritable more than you’d like to admit.
- You no longer have the energy to do it all, so you’re playing catch up.
To reclaim your life, click here and register for my 5-Day Challenge: From Exhausted To Exhilarated: The Top Five Secrets To Increase Your Energy Now.
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” ~ Ru Paul
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. It’s a day to share the love with your partner, your children, your parents, your pets, or anyone who brings you joy.
This day can be difficult for some. It may trigger unhealed trauma or make you question the absence of unconditional love in your life.
No matter how you feel about Valentine’s Day, keep this in mind…
Whether you are picking out gifts, planning your night out, or perhaps forgoing the holiday completely, remember that there’s someone else who may need extra attention today.
During this day that emphasizes the essential need of love, make sure to include the person that matters most… YOU!
Unconditional love is something we crave. Some say it is the route to happiness and joy. So why do we rely on another to provide it?
Unconditional love does not ask you to neglect your own needs or sacrifice your being. It’s a love that exists regardless of obstacles or imperfections. It’s true love and it’s the kind of love we can give to ourselves.
Self-love is the most important relationship we can foster. It’s incredibly rewarding and essential to our growth. It helps us define who we are and how we connect with others. It can help heal our past trauma and remind us that we don’t need to look for love from others.
Instead of searching for unconditional love from another, start looking within. Self-love is the key to realizing fulfillment and joy on Valentine’s Day and beyond.
5 activities to nurture self-love on Valentine’s Day
1. Beautify your space
Tidy the house, organize your closet, tend to your garden or house plants, or, start a DIY project to add some brilliance to your space. It’s easier to love yourself when you love your surroundings.
2. Lose yourself in nature
Read a book at a nearby lake, pond, or on the beach, watch the sunset, or enjoy a walk through your favorite park. Seeing the beauty in the world around you can help you connect with the beauty in yourself.
3. Treat yourself with compassion and care
There’s always internal dialogue happening in your mind. Do your best to keep it positive. Compliment yourself often by using uplifting words.
4. Unplug and practice being mindful
Being mindful and fully present can help you learn to appreciate yourself. Unplug from your electronics, allow yourself to disconnect from the distractions of life, and explore your inner Self. Meditation, movement, and journaling are mindful practices that help you connect with the present moment.
5. Identify and celebrate your successes
Take a moment to remember where you were 5, 10, or 15 years ago. Make a list of your accomplishments since then. Celebrate your achievements and acknowledge how far you’ve come to get where you are today.
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that can bring up feelings of unworthiness if you don’t have the “perfect” relationship. Keep in mind that an external relationship will not fill an internal void. Nurture yourself this Valentine’s Day because your journey to fulfillment starts with you. Revisit my article Spring Clean Your Soul: 7 Ways To Renew You for inspiration.
What ways do you practice self-love?
Sleep is crucial to our mental health. Lack of sleep can result in mood swings, anxiety and depression. When you give your body the sleep it needs, you send the message that you love yourself.
Eating healthy food makes you feel good. When you cut out junk food and stop over-monitoring your diet, you’re telling your body that you love it. This helps sustain your energy, regulate your hormones, and support you to maintain a positive outlook.
Leave the past in the past. Why dwell on things you can’t change? Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and make different choices moving forward. Forgiveness is a powerful way to practice self-love.
Self-care is essential to cultivating self-love. Make time for self-nurturing and self-reflection. Learn how to say NO to others and YES to yourself. It’s your life, so it’s up to you to make time to enjoy it.
If you find it difficult to embrace self-love, click here to claim my free tip sheet: 10 Ways to Love Yourself.
This gift will:
- Help you identify areas where you can have more self-compassion
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- Remind you of your self-worth
- Support a shift in your mindset
Tame the self-deprecating dialogue that can come from not having someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with. Shift your mindset to that of appreciation for yourself, and claim unconditional love from YOU!
Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
How do you define yours?
An authentic you starts with realizing and aligning with your core values.
Authenticity means to be true to one’s character. It is about sharing your uniqueness with the world and living genuinely.
Presenting yourself authentically, especially in authority positions, can be a challenge at times. If you’re questioning your authenticity the answer can reside in how deeply you’re aligned with your core values.
When you live according to your principles, an authentic YOU emerges.
From time to time, it can be good practice to assess the principles we adhere to. This helps us preclude the challenge of conflicting values.
For instance, you value financial freedom and want to start your own business yet you also value quality time with your family. Starting a business could conflict with spending more time with your family.
Or, you value quality “me” time and desire to be more mindful. However, your favorite way to decompress after a hard day is watching TV or playing Candy Crush. See the conflict?
You value freedom and fulfillment, yet you work so hard to achieve it that you burn out instead. Thus, you never reach your intended goal.
Living authentically starts when you take the time to assess your core values. Only then is it possible to integrate your actions with your values. So what happens when your core values conflict? How do you fully express your authenticity? How do you choose your path?
Start by acknowledging the conflict that arises within…
Symptoms of conflicting core values
When these conflicts occur, you’ll find yourself uncertain as to which direction to take. This can result in paralysis and failure to take any action at all.
It’s difficult to convey your wishes when your values are conflicting. If you’re communicating two opposing desires, the message will be unclear and others are likely to misunderstand.
You’re being pulled in opposing directions and attempting to satisfy more than one outcome simultaneously. The result can be chaos and overwhelm.
Your mind becomes a place of anxiety, doubt, stress and overload because you can’t decide which action is most authentic. Your constant questioning can bring up a lot of unfavorable emotions.
The occurrence of any of these symptoms may be the result of conflicting values. Changing the way you look at your ‘conflicting values’ releases associated stress and allows you to gain a more positive outlook. Adapting insight to your core values and how they affect your actions helps you grow into your authentic YOU.
Here are two steps to help you overcome conflicting values…
Step 1: Make sure your values serve you needs
The first step in eliminating internal conflict between opposing values is deciding whether or not any of these values serve you. Take a look at your needs and desires. How does each value benefit you? If you’re not holding onto a value to assist your self-development, it’s probably not one worth keeping. Remember that your values shape your authenticity and an authentic you paves the way for self-growth and inner power. If the value doesn’t reflect that, then it’s not cultivating your authenticity.
Step 2: Change the mindset and let one help the other
Most likely if you have two conflicting values, they are conflicting because you truly want both. Eliminating one may seem impossible.
Step 2 is all about your outlook and transforming your mindset to help one value assist the other. Let’s say you want to save some money. The value of supporting yourself financially is important to you. However you seek this value because you want to buy the things you desire, which creates a conflict between saving and spending.
What if you opened your mind to a different outlook on this ‘conflicting set of values’? These opposing objectives could support each other. You could adjust your budget allowing for both saving and spending simultaneously. Find the balance of planning your financial resources – save some for later while enjoying some now.
When you choose to look at one value as supporting the next, you eliminate the conflict. This change of mindset will free you of stress and self-doubt, because it will allow you to move towards mindfulness and clarity. With a clear mind, you’ll be able to experience more authentic decisions that support growth.
An authentic YOU starts with deep insight into your core values. When you’re feeling any sort of self-doubt, overwhelm, or stress, it might be a sign that your core values are conflicting. Start moving towards your authentic Self by extinguishing this internal conflict. Make sure your values serve your needs, then change your mindset to let these values support your personal growth.
Click here to claim your FREE Core Values Assessment: Aligning Your Core Values To Your Authentic Self and discover a more authentic YOU.
This gift will help you:
- Identify your core values
- Determine any conflicting values
- Find resolution
- Experience greater peace and joy, knowing your authentic self is being expressed
Small shifts in perspective can lead to big changes, allowing your authenticity to be more fully revealed.
Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
Live Your Legacy and Fulfillment Will Follow
How do you want to be remembered?
You’re a driven woman who has a desire to accomplish a lot in this life — a high achiever. As a high achiever, you want to leave your mark on the world.
Your legacy is your pride and joy.
A legacy represents how you share your gifts with others. It’s the contributions you make during your lifetime. Your legacy is defined by the impact you make on humanity and the world. Yet there’s more to a legacy.
More than leaving your mark on the world, a legacy is about living with purpose. By defining how you want to make your impact, you bring your purpose into being. When you choose to experience your greatest desires, purpose provides an abundance of joy and fulfillment.
Think of how you want to be remembered and the essence you seek to embody in your life and beyond. How will that affect others?
Having both purpose and passion in your life can lead you to your legacy.
For example, a passion for the earth could lead you to start a conservation program in your community. Or a passion for cooking could lead you to pass down a book of recipes to your children. Your legacy will take shape through your passion and purpose.
And although a legacy is about leaving an imprint when you’re gone, it is more importantly about experiencing joy and fulfillment as you choose to live your purpose.
Define Your Legacy
Start to define your legacy by working backwards. Start by imagining your 70-year-old Self and then answer the following questions as if you were your 70-year-old-self.
Where are you?
Did you relocate to the tropics to live on a beach? Or did you stay in your hometown, close to the things and people you are familiar with? A clear picture of where you end up might help you to see your end goal and how to reach it.
Who are you with?
Family, a partner, or maybe on your own. The legacy you pursue will shape the connections you make with others. If you pursue a career that has you traveling throughout the world and you’re comfortable being independent, the legacy you seek will most likely involve solitude at an elderly age. On the other hand, maybe your family is your legacy and you picture yourself surrounded by them at age 70.
Or maybe you’ve become a zoophilist and your legacy has given you the opportunity to remain with the pets you’ve loved and cared for over the years. The companionship you’ve imagined yourself with will help you put in perspective the legacy you want to leave.
What are you doing?
I know women who are still happily working at 70-years-old and those who are joyfully retired. Perhaps you imagine yourself still working in your later years, continuing your passion for as long as possible. Or, perhaps the contrary. At 70 you’d like to be done with work completely, feeling satisfied with your efforts from years of dedication. Either way, think of the activities you’d also like to experience. Almost all of us have a bucket list. Are you taking action towards fulfilling yours?
How are you feeling?
To visualize yourself feeling joy at 70 can be a powerful manifestation. Relate back to my previous article Visualization For Greater Clarity: Aligning with Your True Desires for a deeper understanding of the power of manifestation. Imagine the emotions you desire to experience. Do you feel loved? Powerful? Relaxed? These emotions will remind you of the legacy you’re creating.
Working backwards by imagining your future self is a great exercise to help you define your legacy. Hold onto that image.
Obstacles that might keep you from living your legacy
Lack of focus
You’re not lacking in drive. However, are you focusing your energy in the right areas? Make sure you’re taking care of yourself first, so you keep your energy up. When you keep your energy up and invest it in the right areas, you can feel more fulfillment while moving towards your legacy. Visualizing your legacy will also help you maintain focus as you work towards your goals.
Sometimes life can feel like a race against yourself. Slow down. Take time for yourself. A legacy is about living the life you want to live, thus feeling that sense of fulfillment. That can’t happen if you’re not pausing to take care of yourself. Acknowledge and celebrate the moments of success before moving on to your next project or goal.
Letting others tell you what you “should” be doing
Disconnect from expectations. This is your journey, your life, and your legacy. Avoid the opinions and assumptions of others. Stay true to yourself. Meditation, yoga, reading, or journaling are all great examples of actions you can take to help you stay connected to your true Self.
What’s Your Legacy?
A legacy is about enjoying fulfillment as you move towards your life’s purpose. Keep your end goal in mind. Visualize your 70-year-old self and the above questions: where, who, what and how. They will guide you to find your purpose and live a life that moves you towards your legacy. Download my FREE gift What’s Your Legacy? 5 Ways To Leave Your Imprint On The World and clarify the legacy you wish to leave.
This gift will:
- Open your eyes to what you have to offer
- Explore ways for making an impact on others
- Provide possibilities that greater define your legacy
- Increase joy
If you are seeking a life of fulfillment, take actions towards your legacy today!
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