Imagine a world that is more loving, more compassionate, and more forgiving. There is less racial injustice. Communities and people from different backgrounds embrace each other. Everybody is treated equally under the law and in reality.
It almost seems like a utopia too good to be true, right?
Yet, it’s a mission that is just and worth standing for. I believe compassion is the key to manifesting a world that is freer and more equitable. But before we can change society, we must start with ourselves. Enriching the lives of the people within your community begins with having compassion for yourself.
What Does It Mean To Have Compassion For Yourself?
The myths surrounding self-compassion are abundant:
It’s self-indulgent
It’s selfish
It’s for weak-willed people.
But here’s the truth. Compassion is necessary for your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Compassion is what encourages you to care for your body and your mind.
Think about this.
If you own a pet, you care for them. You feed them high-quality pet food, bathe them, buy them toys. You love to spoil your non-human companion.
Yet so many women fail to direct this affection within.
When you neglect your well-being, you deny yourself the resources needed to live a beautiful and thriving life. Can you imagine a life where you’re:
Full of inspiration
Abundant with energy
Loved and fulfilled
Guided by meaning and purpose
This is the power of self-compassion. And when you build a well of love and compassion with yourself, you can then share it with others.
That is why I encourage you to prioritize enriching your life first and then expand your circle of influence to encompass the people within your community and country.
Why is Self-Compassion Important for Enriching Other People’s Lives?
Even if your own relationships are in order, you’re living in a bubble. The world outside your bubble needs your support too.
People are suffering. Botham Jean, Aura Rosser, Philando Castille, and more have died under a system of racism. We’re seeing more headlines of deaths and injustices every week.
And it’s within your power to extend your hand to help. It’s within your power to express compassion towards those who need it most.
However, you must first fill your own well. Practicing compassion towards others begins with practicing compassion toward yourself.
Here’s how you can do it.
3 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion to Enrich Your Life and the People Around You
#1 Advocate for Your Well-Being
When you hear about horrific murders, like what happened to Stephon Clark, you feel compelled to advocate for those who suffer from racial discrimination. This is an important mission and I encourage you to educate yourself with anti-racism resources and join causes that oppose racism and police brutality.
Remember to take care of yourself. If you’re feeling mentally strained, try going on a digital detox for a few days. Unplug from social media, turn off the television, and stop reading the headlines. During your detox, practice more self-care:
Read a favorite book
Go for a long walk outside
Light some candles and indulge in a warm bubble bath
Have a movie night with your family
Practice self-compassion by giving yourself permission to relax and pamper yourself when you’re feeling signs of burnout.
What is one thing you do to practice self-care when you’re feeling tired? Share it in the comments below!
#2 Keep a Self-Compassion Journal
Dr. Kristin Neff says that journaling is one of the best ways to express your emotions and it’s often linked to mental and physical well-being. This is one reason why journaling is a part of my morning activity. Writing in my journal has become a spiritual practice that helps me be more present and mindful of how I’m feeling in the moment.
“As you write,” Dr. Neff says, “try to be accepting and non-judgmental of your experience, not belittling it or making it overly dramatic.”
The point of this exercise is to acknowledge the full-range of emotions you’re experiencing at this moment without judging yourself. Whether it’s anger, disappointment, sadness, or another emotion, acknowledge what you’re feeling as you write about it.
In your journaling practice, your body could be telling you things you didn’t recognize earlier. You might realize that you’re stressed and need to take a step away from work. Or you might have a stroke of inspiration and tap into your creative flow.
#3 Ask for Help When You Need It
Learning how to love yourself can be difficult when you’re already overwhelmed with life.
You have to work. Put food on the table. Care for the children. Run errands.
You’re so busy! How would you even find the time to practice mindful self-compassion?
When you’re feeling overworked and burned out, self-compassion can often look like enlisting others’ aid.
If you need help restoring order to your hectic life, I encourage you to accept my gift of an “Overcoming Overwhelm” Discovery session. In this 60-minute consultation you’ll:
Reveal a clear and compelling vision of what else is possible for your life when you no longer have so much on your plate and are enjoying your life again.
Get simple and practical tips for how to break free from your symptoms of overwhelm.
Tap into greater energy and inspiration.
Explore how having a partner on your journey will provide a shortcut to all that you desire.
Practicing self-compassion can be one of the greatest challenges you encounter. It can be a struggle to accept and love yourself.
Yet it’s a worthwhile challenge. Because self-compassion is necessary for your personal growth and fulfillment of your potential. As a more compassionate woman, you have a greater capacity to enrich your family. And if you’re called to be an advocate, you can tap into your resources and help those who need it most.
This day marks the tragic day when George Floyd died. He and so many others — Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor — are among those who suffered and died within a racist system.
Black Lives Matter.
This movement has become necessary to secure equality for all races, especially our black communities. Only a few weeks have elapsed since George Floyd’s passing; yet, Black Lives Matter has initiated many positive changes. Changes that may be small but also inspire my hope for a country that is more loving and more compassionate.
In this article, I share some of the victories Black Lives Matter has achieved, along with three critical life lessons I’ve learned from this remarkable movement.
The Amazing Progress We’ve Made After Only a Few Weeks
Black Lives Matter is raising awareness of the racism and discrimination targeted toward our black communities. Racism and inequality isn’t something we can turn away from. It’s an injustice we must face head-on and take action to rectify.
And it’s working.
We’re seeing positive change in people’s hearts and policy:
More people — especially white people — acknowledge that racism and white privilege indeed exist.
Black Lives Matter has gained global traction with supporters in Amsterdam, Germany, Canada, and more.
The Minneapolis police department banned chokeholds.
A “Duty to Intervene” policy was created in Texas to empower police officers to step in if a fellow officer uses excessive force — had the other three Minneapolis officers intervened, George Floyd might be alive today.
New Jersey Attorney General Gurbir Grewal is updating their use of force policy guidelines for the first time in two decades.
I’m inspired by the outstanding strides the Black Lives Matter movement has made in such a short time. And within these incredible victories, I learned three valuable life lessons.
3 Valuable Life Lessons the Black Lives Matter Movement Taught Me
#1 The Power of Hope
I truly believe that hope for a better future is at the soul of every movement.
To end slavery
For the right for people of color to vote
For women’s suffrage
For interracial marriage
Within each of these movements and countless others is the hope that what you’re doing matters. That what you’re doing will create the change you want to see — positive change that you, your children, and your children’s children will witness and experience.
Because anything worth doing is worth taking a stand for — worth taking action towards.
In my own life, I realize now that many of the things I worked for were achieved because I held onto hope.
You might recognize that it’s the same with you. Many of the accomplishments you’ve achieved are because you kept going. You held onto hope even when times got hard and when you felt like giving up.
And if you’re enduring hardship at this moment, remember the light at the end of the tunnel. That light is hope. And hope is a reminder that everything you’re working for has meaning. All you need to do is continue to trust and put one foot in front of the other.
Racism and our country’s history are interwoven. And moving our society towards a future free from racism is not merely a mission of the black community.
Ending racism is everybody’s responsibility.
Because alone, we only have so much power. But in solidarity, we can move mountains. We can create positive change. We can build a future where people, as Martin Luther King Jr. says, “will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”
The solidarity of the Black Lives Matter movement reminds me of the importance of strong relationships. Because close-knit, quality support systems will fortify you in adversity.
When you’re feeling helpless or powerless, your support systems remind you that:
You are not alone.
You are one woman and you need not carry the world on your shoulders.
You are worthy of aid and compassion and you can ask for help if you need it.
As women, we are empowered when we support and lift each other. If you have a mission in your life, cultivate relationships with women who share your values and goals — women who will help you achieve your goals and reach your fullest potential.
#3 Insight Must Be Paired With Action
The third lesson I learned from the Black Lives Matter movement is the value of taking action.
Since George Floyd’s passing, Black Lives Matter gathered support quickly. Americans swiftly took to the streets to protest racism and to demand equal treatment for black people. Black Lives Matter spread its message of equality in the news and our social media feeds.
Yet the Black Lives Matter movement did more than raise awareness. It encouraged action. And I learned of ways I could lend my support:
Knowledge isn’t the destination. It’s a means to achieve your goals, whether that’s more work/life balance, being more conscious, or shaping a country that is more accepting and compassionate to all its citizens.
Acknowledge Your Progress
I understand that the fight for equality is far from over.
Racism still exists and there is so much work left to do.
Yet, I still believe in celebrating our victories.
We’re seeing real change. Updates to police procedures and bringing racism into the public discourse are worth celebrating.
It’s only the beginning, but I believe it’s an amazing start.
And so, I encourage you to stay hopeful, build strong relationships, and continue taking action within your circle of influence.
You have an essential role to play in the positive change you want to manifest within your own life and for your country.
What action step will YOU take to create positive change in your life and in the world? Let me know in the comments below.
COVID-19 and self-quarantine have completely transformed our daily lives. Now, our country is in a state of outrage and despair. We hear the cries for justice from the Black Lives Matter movement. We bear witness to the awful injustices committed against our black communities.
It’s unbelievably disheartening.
The tragedy of George Floyd — along with Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor — aches my heart and weighs heavy on my soul. And while we mourn their families and communities, I encourage you to do what you can within your circle of influence to inspire positive change.
You can also have a frank conversation with your partner and children. As you learn more about the injustices committed against black people, share that insight with your family.
Then expand outward. Talk about it with your friends. Spread the message across your social networks.
Use your voice and your privilege to expose anti-black racism and amplify black voices.
Don’t Forget to Be an Advocate for Yourself
Being an advocate for others is an incredible thing.
As a white woman, I possess certain privileges that members of the black community don’t. I am in a position to use this privilege as a tool for good — to combat racism and raise the volume on issues I believe in.
But when you take a stand, you might feel compelled to stand on your platform forever. That you must do what you can 24/7, 100% of the time. Because if you don’t, it feels like you’re giving up.
But I learned that you can still support the causes you believe in and take time to be an advocate for yourself. You can step away and recharge.
Being an advocate for others and being an advocate for yourself aren’t mutually exclusive.
As you fight for the causes you believe in, your energy drains. And eventually, you need to step away and take time for yourself.
How effective are you as an advocate when you’re exhausted?
How can you be compassionate towards others if you can’t direct it to yourself?
How can you think clearly when your mind is riddled with anxiety and stress?
When you feel guilty about stepping away, remember that you’re not a stone monolith. You’re not unwavering to the forces around you.
You’re human.
Your energy is finite and your well-being is vulnerable.
There are times when you need to step down and step away. And that’s okay.
Taking care of yourself is okay.
Advocating for yourself is okay.
So, let go of the guilt. And take the time you need to feel 100%, so you can do what you do best and support the causes you believe in.
#2 Go On a Digital Detox
There is only so much negativity you can consume before your body and mind begin to suffer. Very Well Mind discusses a study that found “using social media when you are in bed at night increases the likelihood of anxiety, insomnia, and shorter sleep duration.”
That’s why I ask you to give yourself permission to tune it out.
Unplug from social media. Turn off the television.
You don’t need it every day.
Instead, find other outlets to spend your free time. Rediscover the joy of slower activities, like reading a favorite book or trying a new recipe in the kitchen.
Take some time for yourself. The rest of the world will be there when you are ready for it once again.
#3 Journal Your Emotions
Lately, I’ve been experiencing emotional turmoil. You might, as well.
You might have already been feeling loneliness in self-isolation. And now you feel horror over the pattern of racial injustice against black people that’s seen in the United States and around the world. Recent lootings and riots might even make you feel unsafe in your own home.
Right now, your emotions probably feel like a tangle of raw energy.
Journaling helps to sort those emotions. It finds the one string and unravels the mess, so you can better understand your thoughts and ease the burden in your heart.
If you need help getting started, here are a few journaling prompts to inspire you:
What am I feeling at this very moment?
How did the tragedy of George Floyd’s death affect me?
What are 5 actions I can take today that will help me feel more calm?
What are 5 short-term goals I want to achieve?
What is one long-term goal I want to prioritize?
#4 Prioritize Your Sleep
During these uncertain times, you may have developed increased anxiety and stress and might even be experiencing signs of burnout.
All of these can compromise your sleep quality.
Do you have trouble going to sleep?
Are your thoughts racing when you pray for tranquility?
Are you waking up in the middle of the night?
Your sleep affects every moment of your waking life. Your energy levels. Your mood. How productive and effective you are.
It’s time to make sleep a priority. If you follow the above tips, you should see an improvement in your sleep quality.
Walking Toward a Better and More Compassionate Future
Managing your energy is a lot like managing your finances.
If you want to be in good financial health, learn how to budget your money. If you want to do the things you desire, learn how to manage your energy.
But now that you’re in quarantine, it’s so easy to be wasteful with your energy.
Hitting the snooze on your alarm five times. Scrolling on your phone throughout the day. Staying awake past midnight. Watching TV as a couch potato, instead of exercising.
We’re experiencing a new phenomenon where coronavirus-related stress is affecting our energy and motivation.
Behavioral health therapist Dr. Jane Pernotto Ehrman calls it coronavirus quarantine fatigue. “This kind of fatigue drains our motivation,” she says, “We just want to go lie down on the couch and do nothing. Because of these difficult situations, we’re in a kind of shock and we don’t know what to do.”
Being stuck at home makes you more vulnerable to these energy sappers. And although they may seem minor, they can snowball into a serious problem.
Because if you don’t get a handle on it, you’ll encounter more than a dip in your energy and productivity. You’ll experience:
Poor energy management keeps you from creating and living the life you want. Last week, we learned how self-care can boost your energy. Now, I’ll show you how to budget your energy levels with a few productivity tips.
(And yes, all these tips can be done at home!)
Ready? Let’s begin.
How to Manage Your Energy Using These 4 Productivity Tips
#1 Master Your Environment
Ever tried focusing when your desk is in shambles? How can you work when piles of paperwork and unwashed mugs sit on a light coating of dust?
It’s more than distracting. It’s inefficient.
Each time you look for an unfiled document, you lose energy.
Each time an unwashed mug grabs your attention, you lose energy.
Each time you have to shuffle your clutter around, you lose energy.
Don’t let unnecessary clutter sap your focus, energy, and creativity.
Before you sit down to work, take a few minutes to declutter your space. If you’re now working from home due to coronavirus, a dedicated workspace that is clutter-free is even more critical to preserving your focus. When your space is free from distracting elements, you can better focus on the task at hand.
#2 Understand Your Peaks and Dips
Ever notice how at certain times of the day, you’re ready to conquer the world? And then at other times, you’re ready for a power nap?
That’s because your energy levels fluctuate throughout the day — understanding how they rise and fall is key to optimizing your energy. You can do this by listening to your circadian rhythm.
“Your circadian rhythm,” according to the National Sleep Organization, “is basically a 24-hour internal clock that is running in the background of your brain and cycles between sleepiness and alertness at regular intervals.”
Everybody’s circadian rhythm is different. It’s why early birds feel most productive in the morning and night owls work better during the evening.
Understanding your circadian rhythm helps you learn how to manage your energy levels throughout the day. You’ll want to save your cognitively demanding tasks, like writing or planning, for when your energy is highest. Similarly, you’ll want to save your less demanding tasks, like answering emails, for when your energy dips.
What does your circadian rhythm look like? How can you use it to structure your workday for maximum energy and productivity?
#3 Clean Up Attention Residue
If you still believe that multitasking is efficient, think again. Studies show that multitasking is actually wasteful with your energy and productivity.
Dr. Sophie Leroy observed that each time you switch between tasks, your focus experiences a type of lag. “This is what I call Attention Residue,” she says, “when part of our attention is focused on another task instead of being fully devoted to the current task that needs to be performed.”
Let’s look at an example.
You’re working on a project, but you’re notified of a new email. You check it out but reread it a few times because your mind is still stuck on the project you were just working on. After you respond to the email, you return to your project. You take a few moments, however, to figure out where you left off and your next step before getting started.
This is just one example. If you’re transitioning from working in the office to working at home, you’re exposed to even more distractions — laundry, dishes, and children just to name a few. Switching back and forth between tasks is often tempting but it wastes bits of your energy. To help you clean up attention residue, use task batching and time blocking.
Task batching is when you group similar tasks, like answering emails or editing a paper. Time blocking is when you dedicate a slot in your calendar to complete a specific task.
These strategies will help you be more mindful of how you’re spending your energy and where you’re directing your focus.
#4 Start Outsourcing or Delegating
Here’s the reality: there’s no way you can do everything yourself.
Your time and energy are limited. But that shouldn’t discourage you from getting your priorities completed. Instead of doing everything yourself, start relying on others.
Outsourcing or delegating your responsibilities is an efficient way to manage your energy while getting things done.
If you’re a business owner, there are several business operations you can outsource:
Administrative tasks
Bookkeeping
Copywriting
Customer service
Human resources
Outsourcing these processes frees up your time and energy for things that you enjoy, like serving your clients or business development.
You can even delegate or outsource at home. Your spouse and children can help out with the household chores. Or instead, you can hire a housekeeper to tidy your home while you’re at work or a cleaning service to come in periodically.
Your energy levels are finite. But when you start outsourcing, you tap into the energy pools of other people. This neat productivity tip gets your priorities done without overextending yourself!
Productivity is Only One Part of the Equation
As I mentioned above, this article is part two of a two-part series on energy optimization. (Link to Part one at bottom of article.) The productivity tips I shared help you better utilize your energy. But productivity tips do little when your energy baseline is low from exhaustion and stress.
Productivity is only one of two keys to optimizing your energy. The other key is self-care.
As you work on better managing your energy, remember to take care of your body. Regular self-care can expand your energy baseline, improve your mood, and protect you from coronavirus quarantine fatigue.
To help you build self-care into your daily routine, take advantage of my “From Burnout To Balance: A Simple 10-Minute Daily Self-Care Practice.”
This practice has been shown to:
Increase mindfulness, well-being, self-confidence, and personal power
Increase your ability to concentrate
Cultivate a greater resilience to stress, a positive mindset, and a sense of hopefulness and calm
Decrease stress and stress-related symptoms like frustration, mood swings, feelings of overwhelm or lack of control, anxiety, depression, low energy, headaches, body aches and pains, muscle tension, chest pain and rapid heartbeat, insomnia, and frequent colds and infections
It’s 2:00 and you’ve hit another afternoon slump. You wonder if you can make it to the end of the day.
“Why do I feel so tired all the time?” you ask yourself.
Even if you’re working from home due to coronavirus, it feels like another exhausting day in the office.
You consider pouring yourself another cup of coffee. You might even have an energy drink waiting for you in the fridge.
Yet there lies the problem. You rely on sources that offer temporary energy boosts. However, the problem — and solution — is deeper than that.
You’re having a new and different experience — life in quarantine. And with the added stress and anxiety, you may be experiencing coronavirus quarantine fatigue. “It’s just overwhelming,” says behavioral health therapist Dr. Jane Pernotto Ehrman, “and part of the fatigue is the uncertainty, unpredictability and the unknowns in all of this.”
That’s why it’s time to put away the caffeine and sugary energy drinks and practice a healthier response to feeling tired all the time: self care!
Self-care is free, easy, and can be done at home!
How Self-Care Can Optimize Your Energy
Energy is like a battery. Ideally, you’re waking up at 100%.
But what happens when you don’t get enough sleep? Or your diet is lacking nutrients? Or your life is all work, no play?
You might wake up at only 80% or 50%. These are only a few causes of low energy in women that can lead you to suffer from signs of burnout.
And if you’re experiencing exhaustion from coronavirus, you might be feeling any number of the following symptoms:
Irritability
Anxiety
Low motivation
Appetite changes
Insomnia
Racing thoughts
That’s why I created this two-part series on optimizing your energy, especially in these uncertain times. In this article, I explain how self-care can boost your energy. Next week, I’ll show you how to budget that energy with productivity tips.
So, why self-care? you might ask.
Everyday presents its own stressful challenges and the coronavirus outbreak has introduced new ones.
Yet, imagine starting every day at 100%. Your mind feels sharper. You have more bounce in your step. Your goals are clear. You know what you need to do. And you take action.
“If we don’t take action and recharge,” says Dr. Ehrman, “We will remain stuck. So, it’s important to relieve stress to re-energize and be more present.” Self-care helps you optimize your energy so that you can create and live your best life.
Here’s how you can do it.
Feeling Tired All the Time Because of Coronavirus Quarantine Fatigue? Here are 4 Self-Care Tips to Optimize Your Energy
#1 Clean Up Your Diet
Your body is like a car and the food you feed it is the gas you pump.
Without gas, you’re running on fumes. With poor-quality gas, your car starts experiencing some problems.
It’s the same way with food. Some foods are low-quality and do little for your body. They’re usually high in calories and low in nutritional value — think chips, candy, and fast food.
If you want to boost your energy, look at the food you eat. If you discover your diet could be better, try planning your meals in advance. This encourages you to be mindful of what your body is taking in. The following tips will keep your diet healthy and your body energized:
Consume more complex carbs (like fiber-rich vegetables and whole-wheat grains)
Avoid simple carbs (like cookies and dairy products)
Increase your intake of dark, leafy vegetables (like spinach, broccoli, Swiss chard and kale)
Reduce your caffeine intake to avoid energy crashes (like coffee, energy drinks and soda)
Drink enough water (the Institute of Medicine recommends 9 cups each day for women)
But if you’ve been to your big chain grocery stores lately, you probably noticed that some shelves are picked clean. You may need to explore other options for buying nutritious foods.
Now is a good time to support your local businesses by visiting a nearby mom and pop store. Or you might even want to start a garden and grow your own produce!
When you feed your body high-nutrition foods, it rewards you with increased energy and longevity.
#2 Cultivate Better Work/Life Balance
As a modern woman, you wear several hats: mother, businesswoman, caregiver, spouse, and more. But one that you might forget to wear is the woman who practices self-care.
You spend all of your energy on other people and obligations, but forget to save some for yourself. You suffer from poor work/life balance. Your other obligations — whether professional or personal — dominate your life and your health begins to suffer.
Show yourself how much you love yourself by putting your own self-care first.
Try creating and maintaining a morning routine. Before you give your time and energy away, give it to yourself first. Exercise and meditation are great ways to kickstart your day. I enjoy greeting the morning with meditation and words of affirmation, followed by quality time with my pen and journal.
If you work from home — which many of us are doing in these crazy times — set a cut-off time for the end of your workday. Clean up your workspace and shut down for the day. Unless you’re a doctor or firefighter on call, work can wait until the next morning.
Your home should feel like a sanctuary. Don’t let coronavirus ruin it!
#3 Schedule a Well-Deserved Staycation
Daily self-care is critical to your health and well-being, but sometimes you need more.
Even when you’re maintaining a morning routine and getting enough quality sleep, you can still feel over-extended. If you’re still stressed, it may be time to take an extended break.
With what’s going in the world, now may not be ideal for traveling. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t relax and play!
Instead, schedule a staycation as soon as possible. Stepping away from your responsibilities, while staying home can do wonders for your health. A staycation gives your mind and body the time and space needed to declutter and unwind.
After a relaxing break, you can return to your daily responsibilities with renewed energy and focus.
#4 Cage Your Monkey Mind
Have you ever heard about monkey mind?
“Monkey mind is a term that refers to being unsettled, restless, or confused,” says Dr. Diana Raab, “It is also the part of your brain that becomes easily distracted.”
Has this ever happened to you?
You might be working on a task, but your mind veers instead to the latest COVID-19 update. There are many changes happening within your community. You might be checking your local news or social media to stay informed.
Each time you get distracted, you squander valuable time and energy.
Cage your monkey mind with meditation. Monkey mind often feels like you’re swimming in cluttered thoughts. Meditation pulls you out of the water by inviting your attention to the act of breathing. Many people remark on how clear and alert they feel after a meditation session.
If you’re new to meditation, try using guided meditation apps, like Insight Timer or HeadSpace. Their sessions will teach you the foundations of meditation and intentional breathing.
Do you have any energy-boosting self-care tips that I didn’t mention? Share them with me in the comments below.
Make Self-Care a Habit
“The holy grail of habit change,” says James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, “is not a single 1 percent improvement, but a thousand of them.”
Waking up with a fully charged battery will support you when you feel coronavirus quarantine fatigue creeping in. But this happens only when you commit to making self-care a daily habit.
You might not notice a difference in your energy levels at first. But if you maintain a self-care routine, you will notice higher energy levels over time.
And daily self-care doesn’t have to be a two-hour routine. It can be as simple as 10 minutes every day with my “From Burnout To Balance: A Simple 10-Minute Daily Self-Care Practice.”
This practice has been shown to:
Increase mindfulness, well-being, self-confidence, and personal power
Increase your ability to concentrate
Cultivate a greater resilience to stress, a positive mindset, and a sense of hopefulness and calm
Decrease stress and stress-related symptoms like frustration, mood swings, feelings of overwhelm or lack of control, anxiety, depression, low energy, headaches, body aches and pains, muscle tension, chest pain and rapid heartbeat, insomnia, and frequent colds and infections
I have been working from home for as long as I can remember – at least 30 years! When COVID-19 forced most of the world to stay home or work from home, it didn’t change this for me.
What the appearance of COVID-19 did change for me is that I began to feel so tired all the time. I went to sleep earlier and got up later, thinking I was pushing myself too much. However, the more I slept, the more I felt that I needed to sleep. I didn’t feel ill or anxious in any way, therefore I was uncertain as to what was happening. And I was experiencing pain that periodically shifted from one location in my body to another.
I needed an answer to this unexplained fatigue and fast!
Seeking Help to Heal From My Unexplained Fatigue
So, I had a healing session with a colleague. Through that experience I got in touch with how I was taking on other people’s stuff and it was manifesting as physical sensations and pain. My colleague helped with some healing, but it was still there. As an empath, at times I can feel what others are experiencing emotionally. What was odd about this was that I didn’t feel any angst on an emotional level, yet there it was in physical form. This was the first time I was aware of this happening.
For the past couple of years I’ve been using some practices that empower me to help myself. These come from Access Consciousness, an organization known worldwide for creating transformational life changing tools and processes to empower people to know what they know.
As a result of this recent empathic experience, my coach reminded me of an Access tool called “Who Does This Belong To” that allows me to distinguish between and release unwanted thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are not mine. This tool is simple and easy, so I began practicing it in my daily life. And it has made all the difference for me. No more pain! No more unexplained fatigue!
I was so glad that I had finally asked for support. It is so important in these challenging times to ask for and to receive support from others, because it could be just what we need.
I realized that I had this incredible experience right now because living in the midst of a pandemic, emotions are amplified with heightened fear, heightened contraction, and heightened anxiety. And I wonder how many other women have been having similar experiences without being aware that they are taking on other people’s stuff.
Because an empath is someone who is so highly aware of the emotions of those around them, that they actually feel those emotions themselves. Empaths are intensely aware of others, their pain, and what they need emotionally.
This is the number one trait of an empath. No matter what someone else near them is feeling, even if they aren’t showing it, empaths are likely to pick up on it immediately, actually feeling the emotion as if it were their own, like they were a sponge.
But it’s not just emotions. According to Dr. Judith Orloff, author of The Empath’s Survival Guide, empaths can feel physical pain, too — and can often sense someone’s intentions or where they’re coming from.
Have you been so busy that you haven’t had time to even acknowledge the physical, mental and/or emotional experiences and sensations you are having? If so, right now is a great time to pay attention to what’s going on in your body. And then get really present to that.
According to Dain Heer, co-creator of Access Consciousness, “98% of your thoughts, feelings and emotions actually don’t belong to you.”
If you’ve been dealing with greater than usual fatigue or feel that you may be picking up on the emotional, physical or mental angst of those around you, check in with yourself and ask, “What is mine?” and “What am I taking on from others?”
Then try the Access Consciousness tool called “Who Does This Belong To” that worked so well for me.
Just ask, “Who does this belong to?”
If you feel lighter, then it’s not yours.
If it’s not yours, say “I return this to sender with consciousness attached.”
Do this whenever you feel emotional, physical or mental sensations and you’ll feel much lighter immediately.
For more context around this, click here to see it explained by Dr. Dain Heer, co-creator of Access Consciousness.
You may find, after asking, “Who does this belong to?”, that the thought, feeling, or emotion does belong to you. If so, now more than ever it’s important to really get curious, to slow down, to check in with your body, and to ask questions.
Here are some questions that you can ask yourself:
“What am I feeling?”
“Where in my body am I feeling it?”
“Is this real?” (This is helpful for times when you place a meaning on something, which may not be true. This question keeps you from holding on to uncomfortable emotions over something that isn’t so.)
“What is this telling me?” (When you ask your body this question, it may respond with a word, a phrase, an image, a sensation…)
“What does my body need from me?” (This question may get a similar response from your body as the previous question)
It can also be helpful to journal these questions, taking note of the responses you get and the actions you will take next. When you slow down and tune in this way, you are able to connect with your amazing body wisdom and get in touch with what your body needs from you.
I check in with myself daily. At times I forget, like when life gets busy. However, I have a way of reminding myself with a daily alarm. As an empath, it’s important to recognize my sponge-like nature. And it’s important to squeeze out the sponge every day! So instead of allowing it to detract from my life and my clients, I can use it in ways that contribute.
Practices like “Who Does This Belong To” and body check-ins are just a couple of the tools I work with. My vast coaching toolkit is a great support to my clients.
Although these tools are a great start to working with unexplained fatigue, anxiety, overwhelm and other symptoms, sometimes, more support is required.
If you’re ready to get out of overwhelm so that you can thrive during this time, I’d love to help you. This week I have two spaces available for a complimentary “Overcoming Overwhelm” Discovery session.
In this 60-minute consultation you’ll:
Reveal a clear and compelling vision of what else is possible for your life when you no longer have so much on your plate and are enjoying your life again
Get simple and practical tips for how to break free from your symptoms of overwhelm
Tap into greater energy and inspiration
Explore how having a partner on your journey will provide a shortcut to all that you desire.
As an International Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Spiritual Counselor, and Ordained Minister with 3 decades of experience researching personal growth and how we heal from within, I have healed myself from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and burnout. My proven strategies help women overcome overwhelm and break free from the burnout cycle. I then partner with them as they reclaim their passion and create the life they desire. Having experienced first-hand the challenges of finding physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance, I believe that life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured!!!
