How to Live a Meaningful Life: 5 Tips to Find Your Purpose, Manifest Your Values, and Increase Happiness

Overwhelm, Self-Care, Self-Love

Ever hear stories about people who seem to “have it all” but still aren’t happy?

They have wealth and the many luxuries it can afford, but… something is missing.

That’s because the accumulation of wealth and material possessions doesn’t equate to happiness and fulfillment.

What may be missing is meaning.

Without meaning, life can feel merely like an accumulation of experiences.

When you learn how to live a meaningful life, everything you do and everything that happens for you has a purpose. 

Even now, the coronavirus outbreak has a purpose. And it’s up to you to find that meaning and understand it.

We’ll be exploring why and how you can do that in the sections below.

When you learn how to live a meaningful life, everything you do and everything that happens for you has a purpose. Share on X

How Meaning Can Create Huge Changes In Your Life

When you  seek meaning in your life, you have access to a greater sense of well-being:

  • Improved mood
  • Increased life satisfaction
  • Greater resilience to adversity
  • More productivity because you’re working towards your purpose
  • Creative expression
  • Feeling energized

And here’s something else that meaning and purpose can do for you: help you live longer!

That’s right! A recent study discovered that for adults over the age of 50, “a stronger purpose in life was associated with lower all-cause mortality.” This might be attributed to how having a purpose can lower your cortisol levels and increase your motivation to pursue an active and healthy life.

So, if you’re feeling like your life lacks direction… If you’re waist-deep in pessimism or nihilism… It may be that there’s insufficient meaning or purpose to guide you.

If this is you, here are a few ways to cultivate more meaning in your life:

5 Tips on How to Live a Meaningful Life that You Design and Love

#1 Live a Value-Driven Life

A good starting point for living a meaningful life is your values.

What values are important to you? Some popular values include:

Take inventory of your daily life and compare them to your core values.

Is what you’re doing aligned with what’s important to you?

If creative expression is important to you, are you making time for a hobby like writing or painting? If you value courage, is your comfort zone something you hide within or regularly challenge?

With each action you take moving forward, ask yourself, “Does this align with my values? Is this something that a person with this value would do?”

What value is most important to you? What is your next step for weaving it into your daily life? Share your answer in the comments below.

#2 Build Relationships that Uplift You

Are your support systems doing exactly that — supporting you? 

Will they respond when you call and ask for help?

Or are those systems sources of envy, gossip, and pessimism?

Take a moment to really assess the quality of your relationships.

You might realize that some of the people around you block you from living a more meaningful life. Each time you get bogged down in petty squabbles or friendship politics takes you further away from actualizing your purpose.

If you’re in quarantine, this is an opportunity to distance yourself from the negativity magnets. And for a long life that is abundant in happiness and meaning, it may be time to cut toxic relationships. Build relationships with people that share your values and mission.

#3 Give Meaning to Your Struggles

Whether or not you like it… Whether or not you’re prepared for it… Whether or not you deserve it…

Adversity is present throughout your life.

But will you fight or embrace it?

Many women will resist when they feel overwhelmed with life. They cry at the unfairness of it all — cries that often go unanswered.

Many events in your life are beyond your power — the weather, COVID-19, a tragic loss of a loved one. But this shouldn’t suggest that you’re powerless.

You can still choose your attitude and your actions.

Can you find the lesson in your challenges? Can you ascribe purpose to your adversity?

Even now, with the coronavirus outbreak, what can you learn?

Perhaps it’s a reminder to value your relationships, your community, and the planet.

Everything happens for a reason. And you have the option – it’s within your power to trust that your Higher Power is doing everything it can to lead you in a better direction.

#4 Do a Digital Fast

Social media, electronics, your favorite TV shows on-demand — all of these are subjecting your brain to a dopamine frenzy. 

So what does this have to do with living a meaningful life?

It’s because digital dependency might lead you to value instant gratitude; you crave quick wins over meaningful wins.

And by quick wins, I mean …

  • Social media likes
  • Text notifications
  • Victories on mobile app games
  • Putting in your two cents on Facebook arguments

Do these things really define a meaningful life for you?

Or perhaps the dazzling sights and sounds are distracting you from your life’s purpose.

Consider going on a digital fast for a few days. Remove the bells and whistles to get to the heart of what is important to you.

If you value creativity, now might be a good time to explore a creative hobby. If you find value in learning, then take this opportunity to enroll in an online course or read a new book.

#5 Cultivate Self-Love

Many women find meaning in the world outside.

Improving their community. Climbing the corporate ladder. Changing legislation, even.

That might be you.

Yet what about finding meaning closer to home — finding meaning within yourself?

Instead of predominantly directing your focus outward, can you pivot and begin to prioritize directing it inward?

Can you appreciate who you are as a woman?

Can you see your strengths and values?

Can you love yourself?

Because there is both power and meaning in loving yourself. When you love yourself, you build a strong foundation on which to grow and thrive. Sign up for my email list to receive helpful and actionable advice on how to cultivate more self-love and purpose in your life.

So, what are you waiting for?

A life brimming with joy, love, and meaning awaits you!

Your purpose is already beckoning.

You need only to answer the call.

Combat Stress With Happiness: 5 Tips on How to Live Healthy and Happy

Overwhelm, Self-Care, Self-Love

We’re living in stressful times.

How are you coping amidst all the changes related to coronavirus?

You, like many other women, might be struggling — whether it’s from losing your job, keeping your family healthy, or securing basic supplies for your home.

Some days might even feel like a battle just to make ends meet. 

How long can your physical and mental health endure? You’re doing your best but you’re so stressed and overwhelmed.

I know it’s tough right now. 

But can you still find the strength to detect a glimmer of happiness in your life? Can you summon the wherewithal to cultivate that happiness?

Because learning how to live healthy and happy may be exactly what you need to carry you through these stressful times.

Can Happiness Really Relieve Your Stress?

Right now, the world can feel like a scary place.

Instead of attempting to draw happiness from the external world, try looking within.

Cultivating happiness from within will create profound changes in your life.

For one, you’ll gain more resilience to stress and overwhelm.

When you’re overwhelmed, your body releases the stress hormone, cortisol. According to Premier Health, high cortisol levels lead to fatigue, headaches, and can suppress your immune system. 

When you start cultivating happiness, your body releases hormones like dopamine and serotonin. These are the hormones that make you feel happy and fulfilled!

How amazing is that?

Happiness doesn’t have to be some elusive concept. You can make the conscious choice to stop depending on external achievements and learn how to cultivate it from within.

You can stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling happy again.

Here’s how!

How to Live Healthy and Happy: 5 Tips to Nurture Happiness from Within

#1 Start a Gratitude Journal

If I asked you, “What’s going wrong in your life?” you probably have a mental list already prepared…

  • Overwhelmed by work
  • Coping with COVID-19 and quarantine
  • Strained relationships
  • And much, much more

See, your brain is wired to see the negativity in your life.

It’s a survival instinct that helped your ancestors evolve. It triggered a stress response that allowed them to quickly spot danger or risk getting eaten by a predator.

It was an eat or be eaten world back then.

Nowadays, not many of us are getting chased by wild animals.

Yet, the stress response remains, triggered instead by the endless obligations and negativity that life throws your way.

But what if you can take that survival instinct and widen it to also notice everything right in your life?

A powerful way to do this is by starting a gratitude journal.

Every day, jot down at least three things you’re grateful for.

Our minds are so prone to jumping from one stressful thing to the next. This practice teaches you to slow down. By grounding yourself in the moment, you can take stock of your life.

You might notice there are so many blessings you take for granted, like having a roof over your head and waking up to live another day.

Yes, life is stressful. But life can be filled with beauty and joy. Daily gratitude will remind you of this.

Kickstart this gratitude practice right now by sharing one thing you’re grateful for in the comments below. 

Kickstart your gratitude practice right now by sharing one thing you’re grateful for in the comments below. Share on X

#2 Embrace Forgiveness

There’s a saying — holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

While you’re not literally drinking poison, holding onto a grudge is still dangerous to your mind and body. According to Psychology Today, resentment may lead to emotional distress and feelings of shame or guilt. You might even experience physical symptoms, like illness or fatigue.

Is there something from your past that you won’t let go of?

Maybe it’s anger at your mom. Or resentment towards a toxic ex.

Ask yourself, “Why am I holding on this? Is this doing me any good?”

More often, it’s not.

Past experiences help you grow. But grudges hold you back.

Can you give yourself permission to forgive somebody who wronged you?

Can you summon the courage to move forward?

If you do, you might find the road is brighter looking forward than it is looking back.

#3 Nurture a Hobby

There’s more to life than work and home.

You’re a woman with unique interests and when you nurture them, you’ll tap into greater happiness.

What activity brings you to life?

  • Is it when you’re mixing different colors to capture the right essence on canvas?
  • Is it when you’re stringing stories from all the ideas bouncing in your head?
  • Is it when you put on your running shoes and sprint towards glory?

The point of nurturing a hobby is to tap into your creative flow. When you’re in flow state, the world around you — your stress and obligations — they all slip away. 

All that’s left is you and your craft.

Find a hobby that you love.

And if you’re not quite sure what hobby that is, quarantine might afford you extra time for a little self-discovery!

#4 Get Your Body Moving

Earlier, I mentioned how happiness releases hormones like serotonin and dopamine.

One of the best ways to boost those hormone levels is to exercise!

I know a little physical self-care can be challenging with gyms closing due to coronavirus.

But there are so many ways you can stay active from within your home.

  • Living room yoga
  • Exercise videos
  • Go for a jog outside (if it’s permitted)
  • Turn on your favorite music and dance your heart out!

Just get active.

As you exercise, you’ll notice the stress leaving your mind and body. That’s the happiness hormones doing their job!

#5 Filter the Negativity

While there’s much beauty and abundance in this world, negativity is everywhere:

  • The news
  • Your social circles
  • Music
  • Social media
  • Movies

Continuous engagement with negativity can create a stressful environment. Expose yourself for long enough and it can seriously affect your mental state, leading you to be more prone to pessimism and despair.

While there is no way to “negativity-proof” your life, you can take steps to filter the negativity you allow into your life.

You can remove a toxic friend from your life. Reduce your exposure to the news. Be selective about what media you choose to watch.

Then, find sources of positivity. Friends who uplift you. Inspirational books. Funny movies.

And on that note, introduce more positivity to your email inbox by signing up for my mailing list. Receive helpful and actionable tips on how to reduce overwhelm and create your best life.

Remember: Stress and setbacks will come at you throughout life, especially under today’s circumstances. Still, you can cultivate happiness from within, starting with loving yourself and appreciating the blessings in your life.

How to Be More Resilient: Getting Back on Track When Life Isn’t Going Your Way

Burnout, Overwhelm, Self-Care, Self-Love

Ever notice how some women have this uncanny ability to bounce back from adversity?

With each challenge, they emerge wiser and stronger?

These women are resilient.

Resilience looks like the woman who loses her job but polishes her resume and starts seeking career opportunities.

Resilience looks like doing the best you can, even when coronavirus has disrupted your daily life.

Resilience is showing up for yourself every day, even when it feels like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders.

You don’t need a suit and cape to conquer your challenges. 

Resilience can be your superpower. And I’m going to show you how to be more resilient when you’re feeling overwhelmed with life.

What is the Meaning of Resilience?

Psychology Today defines resilience as “the psychological quality that allows some people to be knocked down by the adversities of life and come back at least as strong as before.” 

Resilience is choosing to move forward instead of giving up. 

Embracing optimism over pessimism. 

And understanding that each struggle is temporary and you have the power to create positive change in your life.

What Resilience Isn’t

Being Emotionless

Even resilient people undergo emotional turmoil during tragedy. The difference between those who are resilient and those who aren’t is how they cope. 

Something You’re Born With

Some are born with greater resilience than others — like athleticism or your IQ.

But that “level” isn’t set in stone.

Like training a muscle, your resilience grows with each challenge you overcome.

This is good news for you. Even if you have low resilience now, it’s something you can work on. The following tips will help you build resilience in the face of adversity:

5 Tips on How to Be More Resilient and Emerge from Adversity Stronger than Ever

#1 Build Your Support System

Different events can trigger emotional trauma — divorce, losing a loved one, even moving into a different home.

And trauma isn’t something you can necessarily weather alone. 

Building resilience is also about learning when to ask for help. Sometimes you need to rely on compassionate friends and family who will support you. 

You may also want to join a specific group. Stanford Medicine shares how “being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope.”

#2 Cultivate Healthy Outlets

Some women resort to unhealthy outlets when coping with adversity. It looks different for each woman — substance dependency, compulsive spending, and overeating, to name a few.

That’s why it’s helpful to build habits that will support you during difficult times. Healthier habits include:

  • Exercising regularly
  • Prioritizing quiet alone time for yourself
  • Cooking nutritious meals for your body
  • Engaging in a creative hobby
  • Spending quality time with family members

These positive outlets will give your body the resources it needs to cope with stress more productively.

#3 Find the Lesson

Why is this happening to me?

What did I do to deserve this?

These thoughts probably have passed your mind when misfortune falls in your lap. You might feel betrayed. You might even curse at your Higher Power.

Sometimes, tragic events are inexplicable. Yet, it’s up to you to find the meaning in them.

If you recently lost your job, what lesson can you find in that? Maybe it’s an opportunity to connect more with yourself and priorities.

What meaning can you find in the passing of a loved one? Perhaps it’s a reminder of your own mortality and the precious value of time.

How about recent events?

What can we learn from the coronavirus outbreak? There are reports of pollution reduction around the world. Maybe coronavirus is offering us a glance into what a healthier planet would look like.

Finding the lesson helps you build resilience. It encourages you to change how you view adversity:

  1. You can let adversity defeat you.
  2. Or you can let adversity teach you.

Have you recently experienced a setback? What lesson did you find in it? Share your discovery with me in the comments below.

#4 Take Just One Step

When you’re stuck in your problems, there are days when you don’t want to do anything.

Believe me, I know. 

There were days when I didn’t want to get out of bed because I was so overwhelmed by stress and fatigue.

Yet all you need is one small change to shift the course of your life.

For me, that was transitioning into a growth mindset — that I wasn’t helpless to the forces around me and there are things in my life that I can influence.

And your next step doesn’t need to be that big.

It could be as small as getting out of bed. Or perhaps it’s giving yourself just five minutes to sit in silence.

Set your own pace.

Confucius once said, “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”

Start with finding your single next step… and then taking it.

Resilience isn’t as much about how fast you bounce back — it’s more about your ability to adapt and move forward.

#5 Seek Additional Support

For some, the above tips are enough to build their resilience.

Others might need a little more support. 

Perhaps that’s you.

I had my own life coach to help me overcome overwhelm and break free from burnout. I’m here to be that for you, as well.

If you’re suffering from overwhelm and want to thrive again, sign up for a complimentary “Overcoming Overwhelm” Discovery session with me. 

In this 60-minute consultation you’ll:

  • Reveal a clear and compelling vision of what else is possible for your life when you no longer have so much on your plate and are enjoying your life again
  • Get simple and practical tips for how to break free from your symptoms of overwhelm.
  • Tap into greater energy and inspiration 
  • Explore how having a partner on your journey will provide a shortcut to all that you desire.

Click here now to sign up for a complimentary “Overcoming Overwhelm” Discovery session.

Hi, I’m Whitney

About Me

As an International Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Spiritual Counselor, and Ordained Minister with 3 decades of experience researching personal growth and how we heal from within, I have healed myself from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and burnout. My proven strategies help women overcome overwhelm and break free from the burnout cycle. I then partner with them as they reclaim their passion and create the life they desire. Having experienced first-hand the challenges of finding physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance, I believe that life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured!!!

A gift for you:

How Tapping into Your Creativity Can Ease Overwhelm

Overwhelm, Self-Care, Self-Love

Are you also feeling stuck at home?

Your daily life has changed in the span of just a few weeks.

The news you see on the media can feel unnerving. Overwhelming, even.

But this unexpected situation raises some unique opportunities. You might, for example, find yourself with more free time.

How will you use that extra time?

You could use that time worrying about the news and obsessing about forces beyond your control.

Or…

You could use that time in a more constructive way. 

Like learning how to tap into your creativity.

Believe it or not, creativity can do so much for your overall well-being. In these uncertain times, creativity may be exactly what you need when you’re feeling overwhelmed with life.

What’s So Great About Creativity?

“Coronavirus is sweeping nations and you’re telling me to be creative?”

Valid question, I know. But here are a few benefits of creativity that may surprise you.

Soothe Your Anxiety-Wracked Mind

There seems to be an update on COVID-19 every hour. Tune in for long enough and you’re bound to feel the stress and anxiety creeping in.

Creativity is more than painting a pretty picture. It actually has a positive effect on your health. One study found that “creative engagement can decrease anxiety, stress, and mood disturbances”. 

Tapping into your creative spirit will do more for your health than the coronavirus alerts beeping on your phone.

Tapping into your creative spirit will do more for your health than the coronavirus alerts beeping on your phone. Share on X

Feel Empowered

Overwhelm can feel like the walls are closing in on you.

Right now, those walls might represent coronavirus and financial strain.

This can leave you feeling helpless and hopeless. 

And you’re probably not feeling very creative at that moment.

But when you engage your creativity, you’re taking action. 

Whether it’s painting, writing, or some other skill, you’re giving form to your ideas.

You’re creating!

And that can feel incredibly empowering — something you desperately need when you’re drowning in overwhelm.

Get Out of Your Head and Into Flow

Ever thrown yourself into a creative project, looked at the time, and realized that four hours flew by?

You slipped into flow state.

When you enter flow state, you’re completely immersed in an activity. Your mind is freed from the outside world. 

You’re living entirely in the present moment.

Sounds amazing, right?

Even if you’ve been engaged for hours, flow tends to not trigger signs of burnout.

Instead, you often feel energized. Joyful. Fulfilled.

That’s why I want to help you tap into your creative flow.

How to Tap Into Your Creativity and Feel Empowered Again

#1 Choose Your Craft

Tapping into creative flow starts with choosing a craft.

What are you good at?

It may be helpful to return to your childhood interests. What activities did you gravitate to?

Was it painting or drawing? Or maybe your inclinations were more musical.

Don’t think, though, that creativity and artistry are the same. While there are many overlaps, creativity doesn’t necessarily need to be traditionally artistic. 

Any of the following can still be considered creative pursuits:

  • Business development
  • Tech skills (e.g., coding, video editing)
  • Speaking to an audience (e.g. YouTube, podcasting, consulting)
  • Organizing

What is your creative craft? Share it in the comments below!

#2 Create a Designated Space

We create spaces and assign them specific meanings.

The kitchen is for cooking. The library is for studying. And the office is for working.

The same can go for your creativity. Create a designated space that is optimized for nurturing your creativity.

A place where your mind is free from distractions — because distractions can block your creative flow.

But right now, it may be difficult, especially if you’re confined to your home.

You’ll have to make do with what you have.

Perhaps you can clear a corner in your living room. Or you might discover some valuable real estate after you declutter your garage.

The point is to create a space solely for creative expression.

#3 Channel Your Inner Child

Do you know why children tend to be so creative?

Their minds and hearts are unburdened by the responsibilities of adulthood.

Children don’t worry about clocking in or putting food on the table.

They have space and time for creative ideas to bloom and manifest.

Reconnect with your child-like state.

The world will always be waiting for you. But for a few hours, can you channel what it felt like to be young and carefree? Can you give yourself permission to play again?

When you do, you might clear more space in your brain for creativity.

#4 Morning Pages

In The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, she talks about Morning Pages. Morning Pages “are three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning “.

There’s no right or wrong way to write morning pages. 

Whatever’s in your mind, get it down on paper:

  • How you’re feeling
  • Your goals
  • How you slept
  • What you want for lunch

The point is to just start writing.

And that’s the tricky part in any creative pursuit — getting started.

Many women might be afraid to get creative. You might be skeptical of your skills. Or perhaps you fear criticism — from yourself or others.

Morning pages help you overcome those inner fears. The goal isn’t how good your writing is — it’s that you did the work.

Creative flow is all about doing and engaging with your craft.

Morning pages help you make creativity a daily habit. I’ve made journaling a cornerstone practice in my own morning routine. Writing my thoughts, feelings, and goals is a liberating and creative experience for me.

Can You Choose Creativity in Your Overwhelm?

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by COVID-19.

How can you even think about creative expression?

But these circumstances, which are often outside your control, don’t have to smother your fire.

There’s a burning spirit within you that’s begging you to give it form.

Get lost in your flow state. 

There’s something uniquely you that you can share with the world. 

In the empowerment and joy you gain from creative expression, you’ll find what you have to offer to yourself and to the world.

And I’m here to help you discover that. If you want to rise above your overwhelm, sign up for my complimentary “Overcoming Overwhelm” Discovery session.

 In this 60-minute consultation you’ll:

  • Reveal a clear and compelling vision of what else is possible for your life when you no longer have so much on your plate and are enjoying your life again
  • Get simple and practical tips for how to break free from your symptoms of overwhelm
  • Tap into greater energy and inspiration 
  • Explore how having a partner on your journey will provide a shortcut to all that you desire.

Click here now to sign up for a complimentary “Overcoming Overwhelm” Discovery session.

Whitney believed in me and saw what I couldn’t.

Whitney is a joy to work with. Her compassion, deep listening skills and coaching supported me to accomplish and move forward in areas of my business where I’ve previously felt like I was spinning my wheels. I’m now doing what I set out to do with love and compassion for myself!

Thank you Whitney for believing in me and seeing what I couldn’t. I highly recommend Whitney to anyone interested in upleveling their life and especially upleveling their self-care.

Jill Fischer

CEO, Jill Fischer International

Hi, I’m Whitney

About Me

As an International Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Spiritual Counselor, and Ordained Minister with 3 decades of experience researching personal growth and how we heal from within, I have healed myself from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and burnout. My proven strategies help women overcome overwhelm and break free from the burnout cycle. I then partner with them as they reclaim their passion and create the life they desire. Having experienced first-hand the challenges of finding physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance, I believe that life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured!!!

A gift for you:

Asking For Help Is Hard. Here’s Why. (And What You Can Do About It.)

Burnout, Overwhelm, Self-Care, Self-Love

“Sometimes asking for help is the bravest move you can make. You don’t have to go it alone”

~ Anonymous

Do you admit to yourself when you need help? 

How about asking for it? 

Right now with coronavirus knocking the economy on its side do you seek a helping hand? Or do you stay silent to save face?

You are only one woman. And yet… you try to carry the world on your shoulders.

Why is this?

“So I can prove that I can do everything by myself.”

But is claiming sole ownership of that achievement worth it when exhaustion, overwhelm and anxiety are the tradeoffs?

Yet you and so many women embark on this lonely path.

…which raises the question… 

Why don’t we ask for help?

We’re Taught to Do Everything On Our Own

This internalization is largely owed to our society and culture.

American culture is pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. Taking care of business. Paving your own way. 

Next, we have the idealization of the independent woman. She can have it all — fame, power, prestige, wealth. She does it on her own. She doesn’t need help from any man.

So here’s the thing.

Achieving your goals and creating the life you desire is absolutely  possible. However, that shouldn’t suggest that you must do it alone. 

Independence can be virtuous. But so can balance and vulnerability. Asking for help lets you maintain that balance between getting where you want to go and preserving your health.

And there is so much support out there. Even now, you’ll find volunteers and aid programs for those affected by the recent coronavirus outbreak.

All you have to do is ask.

Here’s how…

4 Steps to Asking For Help (So You Don’t Burnout)

Step One: Understand the Costs

Women, let’s face it.

We’re busier than ever. You’re a career woman, caregiver, wife, homemaker, mother, and more. With each task you pile on your to-do list or squeeze into your calendar, you give something up. 

  • Your time and energy are spent 
  • Your physical endurance is battered 
  • Your mental well-being is drained
  • Your relationships suffer
  • Your mood takes a nosedive

This is what awaits you if you go too long without self-care and the occasional helping hand.

You’re treading a dangerous path to burnout.

Perhaps you already know this. Yet, why do you refuse help when you desperately need it?

Step Two: Identify the Misbeliefs

Asking for help has a poor reputation because of the negative stigmas attached to it. Does any of this sound familiar to you?

“People who need help are weak.”

You may have been led to believe that only weak women rely on others. 

Women who can’t do it by themselves aren’t enough — they lack the grit, the strength, or the resources.

If you want to be strong and independent, you need to do it on your own.

“I need to be in control.”

You’re a perfectionist.

You set unrealistic (and often exhausting) standards for yourself. The only way you can fulfill these standards is if you micromanage or do everything yourself.

To ask for help is to surrender control.

“I don’t want to feel like a bother.”

“The choice to help another person,” says social psychologist Dr. Heidi Grant, “is often . . . about how you see yourself and how helping will make you feel.”

You hate inconveniencing others. You’re not worth somebody else’s time and energy.

Everybody has their own problems to deal with and they’re doing it on their own. 

What makes you different? Why do you get special treatment?

These insidious misconceptions about asking for help have been internalized by women for years. 

What other misconceptions do you have about asking for help? Share them in the comments below.

Now that we’ve brought these misconceptions to light, it’s time to show them the door.

Step Three: Shift Your Perspective

How do you unravel beliefs that are so deeply embedded in your psyche? It starts with shifting your perspective.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s not about control. It’s not about feeling like a burden.

Here’s the truth:

Asking for help is brave.

It requires a level of self-awareness that makes most people uncomfortable. Admitting to yourself and to others that you can’t do it on your own opens you up to vulnerability.

But vulnerability, when it comes to asking and receiving help, can feel liberating.

Asking for help is brave. It requires a level of self-awareness that makes most people uncomfortable. Admitting to yourself and to others that you can’t do it on your own opens you up to vulnerability. Share on X

Help from the right people will enable you to thrive.

As a recovering perfectionist, I am familiar with the obsession for control. 

I now realize — after burning myself out several years ago — that control is an illusion. 

Help from others doesn’t impede your goals. Help from the right people, rather, encourages you to grow into a happier and healthier you.

You are worthy of help and compassion.

Asking for help is not a plea for special treatment.

It’s a request for compassion and aid during a time that you need it.

If you suffered loss of income due to the coronavirus pandemic… 

If you’re so busy that you don’t have time for yourself… 

If you feel alone and need somebody to talk to… 

It’s time to ask for help.

And if you think that you’re unworthy of compassion and aid, you’re mistaken. I’m telling you now that you are worthy.

Step Four: Ask for Help or Delegate

There are two ways to receive help: ask for it or delegate.

Delegating is often a word you associate with business. Management will delegate sections of the project to their staff. If you’re a businesswoman, try experimenting with delegation. You can hire a personal assistant to handle administrative tasks like email and customer support. Or you can hire someone with a specialized skill, like accounting or copywriting.

Delegation also works in your home life. If you have children, for example, try delegating household chores. Or perhaps you cook dinner but delegate the grocery shopping to your significant other.

Delegation can make you feel empowered — maybe that’s why more women are comfortable with appointing duties instead of asking for help.

But asking for help, as we’ve discussed, is still important for your well-being. Explain your struggles and then communicate how you would like to manage your overwhelm.

If you’re swamped at home, sit down and talk with your significant other. Share how you feel and what you need, while staying kind but assertive. If you just started working from home but you’re struggling with the transition, seek resources on how to better adjust.

Extending a Helping Hand

If you’ve been struggling with overwhelm and signs of burnout, know that I’m here. 

Right now, especially, can feel scary. COVID-19 is splashed across every news outlet and the future is uncertain.

Yet much about coronavirus is beyond your control. 

Something you can influence, though, is how you cope with it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your present circumstances, it may be time to seek additional support.

If you’re ready to ask, I’m ready to extend a helping hand with my complimentary “Overcoming Overwhelm” Discovery session. In this 60-minute consultation you’ll:

  • Reveal a clear and compelling vision of what else is possible for your life when you no longer have so much on your plate and are enjoying your life again
  • Get simple and practical tips for how to break free from your symptoms of overwhelm
  • Tap into greater energy and inspiration 
  • Explore how having a partner on your journey will provide a shortcut to all that you desire.

Click here now to sign up for a complimentary “Overcoming Overwhelm” Discovery session.

Whitney believed in me and saw what I couldn’t.

Whitney is a joy to work with. Her compassion, deep listening skills and coaching supported me to accomplish and move forward in areas of my business where I’ve previously felt like I was spinning my wheels. I’m now doing what I set out to do with love and compassion for myself!

Thank you Whitney for believing in me and seeing what I couldn’t. I highly recommend Whitney to anyone interested in upleveling their life and especially upleveling their self-care.

Jill Fischer

CEO, Jill Fischer International

Hi, I’m Whitney

About Me

As an International Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Spiritual Counselor, and Ordained Minister with 3 decades of experience researching personal growth and how we heal from within, I have healed myself from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and burnout. My proven strategies help women overcome overwhelm and break free from the burnout cycle. I then partner with them as they reclaim their passion and create the life they desire. Having experienced first-hand the challenges of finding physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance, I believe that life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured!!!

A gift for you:

5 Self-Limiting Phrases that Are Stealing Your Power (and What to Say Instead)

Burnout, Overwhelm, Self-Care, Self-Love

Affirmations are the cornerstone of my morning routine. 

They’re carefully worded. When I recite them aloud, I feel focused and empowered.

But affirmations are deliberate and intentional declarations. 

What about words that slip into your daily conversations and thought patterns? 

Little phrases that rob your power without you realizing it.  Tiny words that seem insignificant but actually undermine your power and authority.

This is your wake-up call to fine-tune your inner and outer dialogue. Here are five self-limiting phrases that are stealing your power.

Ditch These 5 Self-Limiting Phrases and Reclaim Your Power

#1 “I should”

Many times in a day do you tell yourself you “should” do something? 

  • I should exercise. 
  • I should stop sleeping in. 
  • I should tidy up. 
  • I should be doing more, more, more. 

There’s always something you should be doing. 

But chances are, every “should” is accompanied by a negative emotion.

Guilt. Shame. Disappointment.

So, why do you burden yourself with all these “shoulds?”

Is it because that’s how you were raised? Or to gain social acceptance? Or because the news told you so?

But, see. 

You’re letting some outside entity enforce their own values on your life.

The things that other people tell you that you “should” do might not even align with your values and goals.

The things that other people tell you that you “should” do might not even align with your values and goals. Share on X

Start saying “I want”

Return to your goals and priorities. The things that advance those goals and manifest your values are what you want to do, not what you should do.

Notice how different these two statements sound:

  1. I should exercise after work even though I feel tired at this moment.
  2. I want to exercise after work even though I feel tired at this moment.

In the first statement, exercise sounds like a burden. In the second, exercise feels like something to look forward to.

This small language shift can help you advance your goals. And according to  Merrily Sadlovsky, MSW, your “inner critic may be minimized, and maybe even silenced over time.”

#2 “I’ll try”

“Do or do not. There is no try.” ~ Yoda

Yes, Yoda is fictional but his wisdom is genuine.

Trying isn’t achieving. It’s giving yourself permission to fail.

Ever notice how “I try” is often followed by “but?”

  • I tried learning guitar but it was too difficult. 
  • I tried asking for a raise but I decided to wait. 
  • I tried saying no but they wouldn’t let up about it. 

Successful people don’t try. 

They get things done.

They learn the guitar. They earn that raise. They say no and mean it.

Start saying “I will”

“I’ll try” is wishy-washy. “I will” is empowering.

It’s a declaration that you get results. 

That even in temporary failure, you will still get the job done.

Practice this change now.

What’s one thing you’ve “tried” but didn’t see the results you wanted? Turn it into an “I will” declaration and share it in the comments below. 

#3 “I think”

“I think” is a shield for your feelings. When you’re criticized, you can quickly hide behind “it’s just my opinion.”

But doing this diminishes your power.

Your informed opinion holds value. And when you preface your thoughts with “I think,” you’re telling others that it can be dismissed.

It chips at your confidence and undermines your authority.

When you say, “I think I’ll be an asset to your company if you hire me,” how does that make you sound?

At best, you sound uncertain. 

Are you an asset to the company or not?

It’s time to stop thinking and start asserting yourself.

Ditch the preface altogether

You don’t need a phrase like “I think” to introduce your thoughts.

Assert your opinion and take a stance.

“Yes, I am an asset to your company. Here’s why you should hire me.”

Say it loudly. Declare it proudly.

Show others and yourself that your thoughts and words carry power.

#4 “I hope”

This one might be surprising. What’s wrong with hoping?

When you say “I hope,” it diminishes two things:

  1. The power of your statement
  2. Your trust in your Higher Power

Take a look at this statement.

“I hope that my business takes off.”

Notice how “I hope” is a lot like “I’ll try”?

The end result feels uncertain. You give up your power.

Will you make it happen or not?

Start saying “I trust”

When you put your trust in something, you’re trusting that the universe is on your side. 

You trust that everything that happens is for your highest good.

And you have faith that your Higher Power will grant you the knowledge and tools to create the change you want to see in your life.

#5 “I can’t”

Yes, there are times when things will be left undone. Or you may need to decline when somebody asks you for a favor.

But when you use the words, “I can’t”, it suggests a limit on your potential or ability.

And in some cases, that may be true — you might not have the expertise or resources at this moment. Or maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed with life or suffering signs of burnout. 

However, there’s another way to convey this without compromising your power.

Start saying “I’m not able to”

What’s the difference?

“I can’t” is limiting. 

“I’m not able to” is about setting healthy boundaries. 

It tells others that this other obligation or request doesn’t fit into your life at this moment.

It’s Your Choice

Everything you say and do conveys something about yourself. 

Even those tiny words like “try” and “should.”

But these seemingly insignificant phrases say a lot. 

They influence how others perceive you and what you think of yourself.

“I’ll try” says that you’re comfortable with quitting. “I will” says that you’re an achiever.

Will you let your language steal your power?

Or will you use it to empower yourself and manifest your priorities?

You’re at choice with how you present yourself.

 For additional tips on creating positive shifts that will help you create your best life, sign up for my mailing list.

Whitney believed in me and saw what I couldn’t.

Whitney is a joy to work with. Her compassion, deep listening skills and coaching supported me to accomplish and move forward in areas of my business where I’ve previously felt like I was spinning my wheels. I’m now doing what I set out to do with love and compassion for myself!

Thank you Whitney for believing in me and seeing what I couldn’t. I highly recommend Whitney to anyone interested in upleveling their life and especially upleveling their self-care.

Jill Fischer

CEO, Jill Fischer International

Hi, I’m Whitney

About Me

As an International Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Spiritual Counselor, and Ordained Minister with 3 decades of experience researching personal growth and how we heal from within, I have healed myself from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and burnout. My proven strategies help women overcome overwhelm and break free from the burnout cycle. I then partner with them as they reclaim their passion and create the life they desire. Having experienced first-hand the challenges of finding physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance, I believe that life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured!!!

A gift for you:

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